On our way home last night, we had no choice but to stop and eat at a Fast Food Restaurant, we chose a Wendy's, becuz they have Gluten Free
options. I chose a chili cheese baked
potato, and ice tea. I did end up
finishing the last ¼ of my husband's SMALL frosty. That was huge for me. I am truly a Junk Food Junky!!! I normally would have ordered a big deep
fried crispy chicken sandwich, a fry, a fountain pop, and/or a frosty. So I was
pretty proud of that choice.
Fast forward...
Since I would have to get up at 4:30 to make it to gym
before our trip to the hospital, I had several people tell me I should go later
in the day, or just skip today. Neither seemed
like very good options for me. I can't go later this evening, and if I skip
today, that would put me all off schedule.
So I set the alarm for 4:30AM, and planned to get up. When it went off
this morning all I could think was why would I get up this stinking early. So I
shut off alarm and laid there for a second, thinking if I just fall back to
sleep, I would have a perfectly good excuse to skip the gym. Falling back to sleep is a valid excuse. But what if I don't wake up in
time for hospital trip, I gotta reset alarm clock then. If I rest alarm, I might as well just get
up. So, I got up! I chose to get out of
bed, get dressed, and trudge to the gym.
"If you choose
not to decide, you still have made a choice." {Rush}
I heard this song on my way to gym. Isn't that the point, if I had lay there and
just fallen back to sleep, I still made a choice, to not make the choice, to
not go or to go, but just fallen back to sleep.
It's always a choice. I could
have made the choice to eat what I normally would, and used the excuse that we
were there, I have no will power, or that I had no choice to eat someplace else, that offered healthy options. I chose to order
the healthiest option possible. I made the choice. Today I chose to get up and go to the gym. I
made the choice. WOOHOO! For me!!
So, how did things go this morning at the gym??? Well, not
perfect, but I did something. I did each
run at 3 minutes each, even if I didn't manage the 4 minute ones. 1 minute short on each of the 4 minute runs. So not a huge success, but not a total fail. I
felt better, not like a complete slug.
I'll take it.
I got to thinking to myself, {yes, I do that a lot… think
to myself, talk to myself, all of that!!}
while I was walking. Why can I
not entertain my brain while I run??? That would make the time pass so much
faster, if I could just think about other stuff, but I can't. I can't seem to
focus on anything except surviving the stupid 3 minute runs. I'm fine while I walk, I think of all kinds
of crazy stuff, I come up with blog ideas, I work on projects in my head, I
even planned the whole layout of my new studio in my head, while walking. When I'm outside, I can think of ALL sorts of
stuff to occupy my mind!!! Which led me
to wonder, what was it like when I first started the {stupid ass} walking, was
it this hard to function??? YES, it was.
When I think back to my first walk, I was pumped that I'd made it to the
drainage ditch down the road and back.
That wasn't even a mile walk!!!
Or when I finally could go the entire 3 miles, that was a big day for
me!! It took a while to get to the point
where I stopped focusing on surviving and started to enjoy the walk {as much as
one CAN enjoy exercise}. So maybe I just
need a bit more time. It will come to
me. And soon I will be back outside
walk/running, and maybe I will be able to enjoy the scenery again!!!
So, today I will enjoy the fact that I've made some choices,
some good choices. I will enjoy the
small victories, and I'll remember that looking back on things, even walking
was once a challenge!!!
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