Thursday, April 12, 2012

Choices, Small Victories, and Looking Back on Things


On our way home last night, we had no choice but to stop and eat at a Fast Food Restaurant, we chose a Wendy's, becuz they have Gluten Free options.  I chose a chili cheese baked potato, and ice tea.  I did end up finishing the last ¼ of my husband's SMALL frosty. That was huge for me.  I am truly a Junk Food Junky!!!  I normally would have ordered a big deep fried crispy chicken sandwich, a fry, a fountain pop, and/or a frosty. So I was pretty proud of that choice.

Fast forward...

Since I would have to get up at 4:30 to make it to gym before our trip to the hospital, I had several people tell me I should go later in the day, or just skip today.  Neither seemed like very good options for me. I can't go later this evening, and if I skip today, that would put me all off schedule.  So I set the alarm for 4:30AM, and planned to get up. When it went off this morning all I could think was why would I get up this stinking early. So I shut off alarm and laid there for a second, thinking if I just fall back to sleep, I would have a perfectly good excuse to skip the gym.  Falling back to sleep is a valid excuse.  But what if I don't wake up in time for hospital trip, I gotta reset alarm clock then.  If I rest alarm, I might as well just get up.  So, I got up! I chose to get out of bed, get dressed, and trudge to the gym.

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." {Rush}

I heard this song on my way to gym.   Isn't that the point, if I had lay there and just fallen back to sleep, I still made a choice, to not make the choice, to not go or to go, but just fallen back to sleep.  It's always a choice.  I could have made the choice to eat what I normally would, and used the excuse that we were there, I have no will power, or that I had no choice to eat someplace else, that offered healthy options.  I chose to order the healthiest option possible. I made the choice.  Today I chose to get up and go to the gym. I made the choice. WOOHOO! For me!!

So, how did things go this morning at the gym??? Well, not perfect, but I did something.  I did each run at 3 minutes each, even if I didn't manage the 4 minute ones.  1 minute short on each of the 4 minute runs.  So not a huge success, but not a total fail. I felt better, not like a complete slug.  I'll take it.
I got to thinking to myself, {yes, I do that a lot… think to myself, talk to myself, all of that!!}  while I was walking.  Why can I not entertain my brain while I run??? That would make the time pass so much faster, if I could just think about other stuff, but I can't. I can't seem to focus on anything except surviving the stupid 3 minute runs.   I'm fine while I walk, I think of all kinds of crazy stuff, I come up with blog ideas, I work on projects in my head, I even planned the whole layout of my new studio in my head, while walking.  When I'm outside, I can think of ALL sorts of stuff to occupy my mind!!!  Which led me to wonder, what was it like when I first started the {stupid ass} walking, was it this hard to function??? YES, it was.  When I think back to my first walk, I was pumped that I'd made it to the drainage ditch down the road and back.  That wasn't even a mile walk!!!  Or when I finally could go the entire 3 miles, that was a big day for me!!  It took a while to get to the point where I stopped focusing on surviving and started to enjoy the walk {as much as one CAN enjoy exercise}.  So maybe I just need a bit more time.  It will come to me.  And soon I will be back outside walk/running, and maybe I will be able to enjoy the scenery again!!!

So, today I will enjoy the fact that I've made some choices, some good choices.  I will enjoy the small victories, and I'll remember that looking back on things, even walking was once a challenge!!! 

No comments:

Post a Comment