I Stand Alone

When you are born into this world, an out-of-the-box thinker, and you make the decision to embrace the fact that you are an out-of-the-box thinker, you need to assume certain things can/will occur. You need to realize that you will stand alone, a lot of the time. Very few people will agree with your way of thinking, see things your way, or support you in what you say, and do. This is a life lesson I am all to familiar with.  This is how I've spent most of my life, standing alone. I'm okay with standing alone, heck sometimes I even enjoy the fact that no one else gets how my brain works.  I've gotten very accustom to the feeling, the knowing, that I'm standing alone.
I mean, there are certain people that you believe should always, stand with you.  It's part of their job, as your support system, to stand with you, to believe in you, regardless of what everyone else thinks, regardless of weather they agree with you, even. This is not the way it has usually gone for me though.
Today I got a very real reminder that sometimes the people that you think will stand next to you, are not always there, doing their job, sometimes even they leave you standing alone!  This should not have come as such a shock to me, as I said, this has kind of been a way of life for me.  Very few, if any, have ever stood there and said I support you, 100%, in everything you do, I believe in you, I know you can do anything.  Maybe I never gave them any real reason to think that way about me. The only real accomplishment I have under my belt, is the fact that I raised two really great kids.  I've not done anything else truly remarkable. I've never had a dream, or said I'm going after this, and done it.  I've tried a few things and said ~huh, didn't really enjoy that, I'm bowing out gracefully. My only life goal has been my kids, and trying to get my own head screwed on straight! It would be awesome to know that certain people stood with you, supporting you, but let's be honest, you can't go through life telling other people how to do their job.  You can't expect things of other people. You can only do your own job, the best you can. You can only expect certain things from yourself. And embrace your own successes! The less you expect from others, the less you will be disappointed. You are all you truly have in this world, and you are the one who has to believe in you!

So yes, today my ego took a big hit, when someone, very important to me, told me that they didn't think I would be able to run a 5K, by the end of July. At first I was really hurt cuz I thought that this person should believe in me above all others, and didn't. I thought that they should know, in their heart, that I can do anything, if I am willing to work hard enough for it, but they don't. That was a hard pill to swallow.  But then I realized  the fact is, I believe I can do it, if I'm willing to work hard enough for it!  And that's the really important part. No one else has to believe, only me!! My job is to believe in myself, knowing I could be the only one who does. That I may stand alone in this.

This has been a bit of a challenging week for me, between the self doubt and then someone else doubting me. But I guess I was a fool if I thought the only hard part about this massive life change would be the physical fitness part! There always has to be the mental challenge too!!!  Who ever said "Nothing worth having ever comes easy" was clearly understating things a bit!!!

So I'm gonna put on my headphones and listen to some Godsmack {one of my ALL TIME favorite bands} and remind myself that I do stand alone! And it's okay to stand alone, I'm good with it! It's always been the way, and if it continues to be the way, I shall soldier on!!

I Stand Alone by Godsmack


Now I've told you this once before, can't control me
If you try to take me down you're gonna break
Now I feel your every nothing that you're doing for me
I'm picking you outta me, you run away
I stand alone inside
I stand alone
You're always hidin' behind your so called Goddess
So what you don't think that we can see your face
Resurrected back before the final fallen now they've arrest
Until I can make my own way, I'm not afraid of fading
I stand alone
Feeling your sting down inside of me, I'm not dying for it
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is fading
I stand alone inside
I stand alone
And now it's my time, it's my time to dream
Dream of the sky, make me believe
That this place is invaded by the poison in me
Help me decide if my fire will burn out
Before you can breathe, breathe into me
I stand alone inside, I stand alone
Feeling your sting down inside me, I'm not dying for it
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is fading
I stand alone inside, I stand alone inside
I stand alone inside, I stand alone inside

And then I'm gonna take a serious nap, cuz this cold is NOT going away!!! And I will be back later with lots of posts, gonna get all caught up this weekend, I hope!!!