you asked for it, you got it

I was told by one of my readers, Aly Brecht, that she'd like to see more pictures on the blog again, sooo to show how much my readers mean to me, and how much I value their opinions, here you go....

These bad boys are my new shoes!! I got them at a store called runners, on March 12th, so I've been running/walking in them for 2 weeks now, and I LOVE them! If you are ever in need of new shoes, I highly recommend this place.  Not only is the staff there wonderful, but they really know what they are talking about.  They watch you walk{or in my case waddle} and put you in a shoe that is perfect for your foot.  Both of my kids have gotten running shoes there, in the past, and have loved them!  In fact, Maddy came with me this day, and before we left, she was buying a new pair too!! My feet feel so much better, I have no blisters and my shins stopped hurting.  I also got some new socks, which are also wonderful.  Between the shoes and the socks my varicose vein is not nearly as painful as it once was.  In fact, it's only really hurt once or twice since I've gotten the shoes. So I personally recommend you try this shoe store out.  The night we were there, at the Mt. Pleasant store, the owner, who owns several stores, actually took care of us, and he was a great guy.  We talked nutrition and exercise for quite a while. He also runs an exercise program in MtP, which I am NOT even close enough to being called ~fit enough to attend, but maybe some day!!! 

Something strange has happened here in Michigan... unusually warm March temps. for a couple of weeks and everything started to bloom!!

Maddy and her {borrowed}horse, Chip

He is currently the one and only true love of her life!!

Today he got some vaccinations and dental work.

The vet had 4 dental students with him, so they got to check out Chips teeth too

Chip is between 20-23yrs. old, so he's no Spring Chicken, he has had some injuries in his day, so Maddy constantly checks his legs to make sure they are doing okay, no swelling or anything. The pasture is a sloppy mess, due to the sudden warm up in the weather, so he's kinda dirty. And shedding like crazy.  In a few months he will be clean as a whistle, coat shiny, muscled up, and ready for show season!!

Thor is enjoying the wonderful weather as well. He loves being outside!

Finally found someone foolish enough to take our camper off our hands!! The old girls been a good camper, served her purpose, but it's time for her to go!

The fabulous unexpected warm spree has been cause to break out my Chucks!  I can't even remember how long I've had these shoes, I do love them though...

More flowers sprouting

Went on a day trip to/from the airport with my friend Shelli to see her son, Coleton  off to Oklahoma for a new job. Bitter sweet day.

the temps have been insane, but looks like it will start cooling back down, closer to normal soon! It's been AWESOME while it's lasted, but this is Michigan and it's March, so odds are, cooler temps and even a possibility of snow, are yet to come!!

SOLD!!!!
 finally got the old girl put back together and sold. Now there's only 2 dirtbikes in the garage

PROJECT
Yeah, Maddy's shorts got a little upgrade. Studs and lace

Back pocket, a bit crooked, but it'll due!

Added some lace to widen the legs a bit. NExt time I might use a different  style of lace, something thicker, but for our first try it wasn't too bad!!

We even had to mow our lawn, in Frickin' March, unheard of!!!
And yes, my husband mows with his headphones on listening to his iPod!!

I got to wear my sandals, sit in the sun reading a new book, what a great break from Winter this is!!

Had to buy a new fan for the bedroom window! {cute little guy isn't he!}
NO WAY were we turning on the air conditioning in March!!

Flowers bloomed

There have been several beautiful sunrises

I love sunrises,  LOVE them
~just wish I had the skill and equipment to capture them as truly awesome as they are in real life...

And then as expected, all good things must come to an end!
Or at least be postponed,
until your return, Spring, it was wonderful having you visit,
even for just a little while

Cold weather, sleet, and snow ~you SUCK!

Although it did make for a few pretty cool pics! Wish I'd had time to take more.

So there you go a quick photo catch up.  I think that's most everything. Well, there are a couple other sets of pretty cool pics, but I want to do a post about each of them separately. I will try my best to include more pics on a daily basis, from now on!! 

Week 3, IN THE BOOKS

That's right, I've finished week 3. I made it through. It was a tough week and a half but I feel like I'm doing okay today. Don't get me wrong, it is still extremely tough for someone who is sooooo unfit. And I am still bored to death on a treadmill, but mentally speaking today was much better.  I still don't understand why self doubt has to be such a pain in my ass, or why she can't work with me to see this thing through. But today I am proud of the fact that I keep getting up every training day morning at 6am and trudging off to the gym.  I should also add that I've had a bit of extra added stress in my life lately, which I can not share here on this blog becuz it's not mine to share, but I'm also proud that under this kind of stress I'm proud to be able to keep soldiering on, that's not really my style. I prefer to eat and sleep my way through stress. {I'm betting that's how I got this fat in the first place!} So, things they are a changing.  I still overindulged in the chocolate this week, well mostly those blasted Cadbury eggs, but I stopped at only 1 egg most days and on my worst day I had 2{and a few mini eggs} but I stopped myself from eating an entire 5 pack box of them, which I am completely capable of doing!!!!! So now the decision lingers... start week 4, or do week 3 again, just to make sure I'm ready. Today I feel that I might take on week 4, if it's too rough, I'll drop back and do week 4 again, but I am reminded of this statement  "NO one ever thinks they are ready, you just gotta try it!" {from Maddy, my very wise, 19yr old daughter, who's strength and determination never ceases to amaze me}

Today we go do a little shopping, with some friends. For me it's bra's!! WOOHOOO! Now that sounds like fun, huh?!?!?!?!?  But even the girls need to be taken care of!!

I'm BACK in The Saddle Again

Okay so that's a song title, and you all know how I love a good song to go with my blogs, but that's all I got for ya today, a title!!! Just wanted to let everyone know I have been absent for a few days becuz my wonderful son, Tallon, upon moving out, took HIS{yes he bought and paid for it, with his own money} WiFi router.  So this left me unable to connect to the internet very easily.  It's always something around here!  OH I had this awesome, ghetto, set up going at the dining room table for a day. What you can't see in this crappy iPhone photo is, the lumpy pillow I'm sitting on, and the wires stretched tight across the room to the table. And lets not forget the Christmas tree in the background....
Ghetto blogger!!

Then I realized there were not enough plug ins for my laptop charger and my battery died on me.  AND the dining room chairs are terribly uncomfortable!!! So I gave up all hope of blogging for a few days, until today when I became desperate! So I begged and pleaded, and nagged my husband, when those tactics didn't work I finally threatened to steal his credit card {after he took his wallet out of his pants to go to bed tonight} and go buy one myself, so he caved in!!! And I'm so happy he did!!! AND I know you will all be happy I'm back too!!!!! Soon I will post the blogs I've been {trying} to get finished!!!

I'm BACK in The Saddle Again!!!!

Week 3 Day 1

Yep, I did it! Today I started Week 3 of the C25K training program! I survived, it sucked!

Pleasure and Pain will walk hand in hand
No place to run take it all day by day
what it takes
what it makes
let it breathe
celebrate
I'm down on my tail
but I'm up and I can feel it again
angel wings unfold
and the devil sitting
moaning all alone
I've been down
but I'm back
in the magic zone!
~Volbeat

I do love that band!!!  Let me just say that today those "angel wings" that unfold, well they carried me the last 45 seconds of my second 3 minute run!!! This was hard! And for a second or two I could feel self doubt starting to creep her ugly head in the door again, but I slammed that door in her face, I listened to the words of this song "take it all day by day" that's what I have to do, just keep taking it day by day. And that's "what it takes, and what it makes", well hopefully what it makes is a 5K running machine!!! Pleasure and Pain do have to walk{or jog} hand in hand becuz without the pain I wouldn't truly appreciate the pleasure.
The other song that has been a driving force for me the last few runs??? Another Volbeat song... I realize that they wrote this song for a Danish fighter, named Mikkel Kessler, I'm not a fighter, or a warrior, or a viking, and I'm also NOT Danish, but I like to ignore that part, it's all good.  The theme of the song is more important than the exact details. Becuz if I'm gonna beat back that crazy bitch called self doubt then maybe what it takes is a fighter, a warrior!!! When I feel her sneaking in, I play this song, that was written for a warrior... but substitute a few words and it was written for me!!!

Warriors Call
Let's get ready to rumble!!!
Feel the fire he's she's entering the ring
His Her mind set only knows how to win
This Danish fighter will break you in two
You will feel all his  her power
The Viking warrior Mikkel Kessler Denise Weatherby will now brand his   her name
on the back of your head
Yeah you feel the floor again
Unleashing his her hell
you will not even hear the bell
Maybe you're strong but you don't stand a chance

Feel the power of the warrior
fight, fight, fight, fight
Let's get ready to rumble
fight, fight, fight, fight

Breaking your record and breaking your bones
Born a warrior with a code
a champion feeding your face with a fist
You will feel all his her power

The Viking warrior Mikkel Kessler Denise Weatherby will now brand his her name

on the back of your head

Yeah you feel the floor again

Unleashing his her hell

you will not even hear the bell

Maybe you're strong but you don't stand a chance

Feel the power of a warrior
fight, fight, fight, fight
Let's get ready to rumble
fight, fight, fight, fight
a gladiators left and hook
Feel the pain tomorrow

Behold here comes the son daughter
Believe it he she was born to be the chosen one
The call is for a warrior
His Her name will echo in the sea and on the ground

And then some repeating of verse... You get the point!! Now that last little verse might be a bit much, I'm certain my name will never echo in the sea and on the ground, but self doubt, she will sure remember who the true warrior is!!! And YES, right now I realize those of you reading this are all thinking I'm a HUGE DORK not a WARRIOR!!! But this is what it takes for me to get through this.  I am terribly out of shape and I'm gonna need to always remember to fight like a warrior, if I'm gonna make it to the end! I'm gonna let the music speak to me and move me! The music has always been there for me, it never fails. It always says the right things, and has gotten me through some tough stuff in the past {I am working on a big post about music actually,I am hoping it's done by the end of the week.} so, if I'm a dork, so be it. I'm gonna be a bad ass 5K running dork!!!

Monday, Monday...

Well I spent the better part of my weekend napping, trying to get rid of this insane, annoying, stupid fricking cold, that just when I think I'm feeling better comes roaring back!!! It really is enough to piss me off!!! But I am feeling better today, and hopefully it lasts this time.  I spent most of the morning cleaning my messy house and getting caught up on laundry!!  I found out my vacuum is broken!! Good thing we only have one rug in the living room. I still need to mop AND take down that ridiculous Christmas Tree!! LMAO!!! I know, have you EVER met anyone who left their tree up until the end of March??? I'm considering hanging Easter Eggs on it!!! I'm at the point that I kind of think it's hysterically funny!!! I swear to you it WILL be down before June gets here, maybe!!! I've been feeling the urge to empty some of the crap out of my bedroom closet, so I've done one shelf or drawer each week when I put away laundry. I need more hangers, but decided that, if I don't have enough hangers, something has got to go! And seriously, my upstairs currently looks like I could be on an episode of "Hoarders" so today I'm pricing dumpsters!!! If the kids left it behind, they can't want it that bad, right!!! I have an appointment this afternoon and then have a small homework project Maddy needs some help with so... that means tomorrow I WILL be back with a post! I just realized that I haven't posted anything with pics since the horse expo and then Maddy riding with her friend Orion, so  I am torn between promising you a major Project Life catch up post or a long photo post of all the strangeness that has been going on here for the last few weeks, maybe you could all leave a comment, letting me know what you think you'd like to see first!!!

Resolution 2012, Recap

New Years Resolutions/Goals/Wishes&Dreams/One Little Word for 2012

Alright it's been quite a while since we ran down this list, so maybe its time, just to see where I'm at.
*Reclaim some order~ehhh the laundry is under control, and dishes are done most of the time but the house is a bit messy right now, not dirty, just messy!
*Conquer the project list ~not even close! Did do a project but not something from the list
*The attic and library area ~Oh boy! Over the past 2-3 weeks my son, Tallon has been working on moving out, and leaving most of his mess behind!! The entire upstairs is in complete disarray!!! Maddy's room, Tallon's room, the library area, and the attic, all a mess!! BUT this has given me some new motivation!!! Since both the kids are pretty much moved out, I'm going to take on the ENTIRE upstairs!!! I drew out some plans this past week. We are turning Tallon's room into a guest room, painting the entire room and floor and this room will house all the furniture he left behind and all the furniture Maddy left behind. This way when she comes home for the weekends, she will have a place to stay and if we ever have company they can use it too! And all their stuff is in one place, until they decide to take it!! Then we will paint Maddy's old room and move my studio {back} up there.  During all of this I will be gutting out the attic and the library area, getting rid of everything we do not need!! I'm tired of all this stuff and clutter. After the entire upstairs has been handled, we will make the decision about what to do with the old studio space. We've got a couple options, gun/hunting room OR move the workout equipment in from the garage.  I'll leave that decision up to the hubby. And he can decide if he wants to repaint too.  That's the plan anyway!!! And lets hope they don't decide to move back home... THAT would suck!!!
*health and fitness ~Doing pretty good on this one, suffering a few emotional setbacks, but still staying on the C25K program.  After doing week 1, 3 times I have completed week 2. Still undecided if I will move on to week 3 or if I will do week 2 over again. It's most likely I will do week 2 over again.
*practice looking for inspiration is new places ~I'm doing bad here, unless you count Pinterest!! Spent some time on there lately
*desire to create ~I'm actually doing great in this regard!! I'm getting the urge to take on all kinds of crazy stuff, so that's good.  You gotta feel motivated and inspired before you can accomplish anything, I think!
*Continue with Project Life and regular scrapbooking ~horrible!! I'm so far behind on PL and have done NO real scrapbooking, unless you count getting the stuff together to do a mini album for our UP vacation. But that stuff is still sitting there, in a pile!!
*Blog at least 3-5 times per week ~Doing horrible on this one too! Have just been having a rough time making time for anything other than sleeping.
*take some classes ~horrible! haven't taken any classes and haven't gotten my February, or March One Little Word stuff done yet! I have thought about it and that's about it!!!
*work on taking better pictures ~I did go to the Camera Clubs classes put on by Mark Schrauben. I've been working on composure and trying to use my camera on AV instead of auto! That's a start!! I need to get out and take my monthly camera club photo challenge pictures.
*Sense of adventure ~been feeling to crappy to really go anywhere!!!
*Control over my financial situation ~Doing okay. Spent some of the tax money getting some things I've been needing. New running shoes, some work out clothes that don't have holes in pockets, sports bra/tanks, extra cord for my iPhone, new memory card, new cute funky ring.  I know these might seem like silly little things that shouldn't be hard to buy whenever, but I'm on a pretty tight budget.  I get an allowance of $50 each week and until my laptop is paid off half goes to that payment!! So it's been tough getting the little things I need.  I've managed to pay our credit card off every month, and pay all bills on time! I have embraced on line bill pay! It's way easier to sit down at laptop and pay than it is to write checks and mail!!! So yeah, I'm doing okay in this department.
*time management ~well I've spent most of my free time sleeping, trying to get rid of this stupid ass cold!! I haven't missed any meetings, so that's something!

Well that wasn't toooo bad!!! Every time I sit down and type this list I feel better about what I have gotten done. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but it's a lot for me, I'm kinda lazy, and a  huge procrastinator!! Hopefully I get over this crappy stupid ass cold and can get some more stuff done!! The year is almost a quarter way through and I need to get cracking!!!

I Stand Alone

When you are born into this world, an out-of-the-box thinker, and you make the decision to embrace the fact that you are an out-of-the-box thinker, you need to assume certain things can/will occur. You need to realize that you will stand alone, a lot of the time. Very few people will agree with your way of thinking, see things your way, or support you in what you say, and do. This is a life lesson I am all to familiar with.  This is how I've spent most of my life, standing alone. I'm okay with standing alone, heck sometimes I even enjoy the fact that no one else gets how my brain works.  I've gotten very accustom to the feeling, the knowing, that I'm standing alone.
I mean, there are certain people that you believe should always, stand with you.  It's part of their job, as your support system, to stand with you, to believe in you, regardless of what everyone else thinks, regardless of weather they agree with you, even. This is not the way it has usually gone for me though.
Today I got a very real reminder that sometimes the people that you think will stand next to you, are not always there, doing their job, sometimes even they leave you standing alone!  This should not have come as such a shock to me, as I said, this has kind of been a way of life for me.  Very few, if any, have ever stood there and said I support you, 100%, in everything you do, I believe in you, I know you can do anything.  Maybe I never gave them any real reason to think that way about me. The only real accomplishment I have under my belt, is the fact that I raised two really great kids.  I've not done anything else truly remarkable. I've never had a dream, or said I'm going after this, and done it.  I've tried a few things and said ~huh, didn't really enjoy that, I'm bowing out gracefully. My only life goal has been my kids, and trying to get my own head screwed on straight! It would be awesome to know that certain people stood with you, supporting you, but let's be honest, you can't go through life telling other people how to do their job.  You can't expect things of other people. You can only do your own job, the best you can. You can only expect certain things from yourself. And embrace your own successes! The less you expect from others, the less you will be disappointed. You are all you truly have in this world, and you are the one who has to believe in you!

So yes, today my ego took a big hit, when someone, very important to me, told me that they didn't think I would be able to run a 5K, by the end of July. At first I was really hurt cuz I thought that this person should believe in me above all others, and didn't. I thought that they should know, in their heart, that I can do anything, if I am willing to work hard enough for it, but they don't. That was a hard pill to swallow.  But then I realized  the fact is, I believe I can do it, if I'm willing to work hard enough for it!  And that's the really important part. No one else has to believe, only me!! My job is to believe in myself, knowing I could be the only one who does. That I may stand alone in this.

This has been a bit of a challenging week for me, between the self doubt and then someone else doubting me. But I guess I was a fool if I thought the only hard part about this massive life change would be the physical fitness part! There always has to be the mental challenge too!!!  Who ever said "Nothing worth having ever comes easy" was clearly understating things a bit!!!

So I'm gonna put on my headphones and listen to some Godsmack {one of my ALL TIME favorite bands} and remind myself that I do stand alone! And it's okay to stand alone, I'm good with it! It's always been the way, and if it continues to be the way, I shall soldier on!!

I Stand Alone by Godsmack


Now I've told you this once before, can't control me
If you try to take me down you're gonna break
Now I feel your every nothing that you're doing for me
I'm picking you outta me, you run away
I stand alone inside
I stand alone
You're always hidin' behind your so called Goddess
So what you don't think that we can see your face
Resurrected back before the final fallen now they've arrest
Until I can make my own way, I'm not afraid of fading
I stand alone
Feeling your sting down inside of me, I'm not dying for it
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is fading
I stand alone inside
I stand alone
And now it's my time, it's my time to dream
Dream of the sky, make me believe
That this place is invaded by the poison in me
Help me decide if my fire will burn out
Before you can breathe, breathe into me
I stand alone inside, I stand alone
Feeling your sting down inside me, I'm not dying for it
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is fading
I stand alone inside, I stand alone inside
I stand alone inside, I stand alone inside

And then I'm gonna take a serious nap, cuz this cold is NOT going away!!! And I will be back later with lots of posts, gonna get all caught up this weekend, I hope!!! 

Week 2 Day 1 of C25K ~and that crazy bitch, self doubt

That's right, over the weekend I finished Week 1 Day 3 for the third time. Yes, the 3rd time.  {I know, kinda sad, but again this cold is kicking my ass, and we were on vacation in the tundra for a week so very little exercise went on. So yes 3 times, I've done week 1} Maddy went to the gym with me Saturday, she told me I look cute running, and she doesn't know why I would worry about how bad it looks cuz I don't! So that was one vote of confidence. And I assure you my daughter does not give compliments if she doesn't mean them, so she must have meant it!!! I told her that I need to move on to Week 2, but I'm just not sure I'm ready. HEr reply was "No one ever thinks they are ready, you just gotta do it." UGh vote of confidence number two! So this morning, with her words ringing in my head "you just gotta do it!"  I suited up, went off to the gym, and just did it! I made it. However, today was by far the worst day I've had while doing the c25k program.
What does week 2 consist of... 5 minute brisk warm up. Then alternate 90 seconds of jogging and 2 minutes of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Then finish with 5 minute cool down walk.  Sounds EASY, right??? HA!!! It's so NOT!!! Not when you're as out of shape, fat, and old as me. {I'll say it again for all the newby readers, this is NOT a self-deprecation thing. I know what I am and out of shape is what I am. Old is what I am. And fat is what I am. This does NOT discount my self worth as a person, it's just a fact. Fat is fat, old is old, out of shape is out of shape. I accept myself for who I am and what I am, at this moment. And seriously, this does not change my value as a person, it's just what it is. I am still a pretty dang good person!! I'm also a lot of other things, but for the purpose of this blog post, I'm just letting everyone know, I like myself just fine. I can be a good person and still be out of shape, fat, and old. I sometimes get annoyed that people think self acceptance means low self esteem. For me, it doesn't. It just means that I accept myself for what I am without any judgements. Some things can and should be changed/worked on, and when I'm ready to take on that task, I will.  Somethings I don't want to change. Some things I'm not ready to change and some things can't be changed, like age. I'm 42 years old. I've lived a good life, I'm happy with my life and I can not become younger, and really don't want to. Acceptance. So now that we're clear on my crazy way of thinking ~back to the original point!!} Week 2 Day 1 nearly killed me! I thought I may pass out or throw up, my varicose vein just above my right ankle area, felt like it was about ready to explode, and the sweat was insane!!! But I finished it!!! The second run in, I already knew this one was gonna be a challenge, of epic proportions, for me!! And then it happened, the self doubt started crawling and creeping in. Telling me I couldn't do this. Telling me sitting on the couch was WAY easier than this. Telling me I am not cut out for this.  Self Doubt had me in her steely grip!!! The struggle within had begun!! I changed my music, I tried telling myself she was wrong, I could do this, but it was too late. She was in my head and there was NO getting her out!!! When I felt her coming I should've given her the boot, but I didn't, I let her linger just a few seconds too long. Thankfully this program only lasts for 30 minutes and I made it. But the fact is ~she was there, she ruined my workout. She rained on MY parade! The fact is I HATE that Bitch! She is no longer welcome in my head!!! She took up residency there for a very large part of my life, and I thought I was finished with her. I think I was a bit taken back by the fact that she stopped by for a visit at all, and that's maybe why I wasn't prepared for her. I know there are things I can NOT do and I know there will be times I fail in life, but to me the biggest failure is in thinking you may fail. It has been said that self doubt is the root of all evil and a lot of different things, but for me she's the root of failure. {And I can not let that Bitch take root!!! I've never had much of a green thumb, but once that bitch takes root I can sure grow a massive crop of self doubt and failure!!!} "If you doubt yourself, indeed you stand on shaky ground" ~Henrik.  And that's where I stood today, on very shaky ground.  She shook me to my core, scared me by how easily she was getting comfortable in m head, shocked me by her presence, and then pissed me off because I had allowed her to ruin what should have been a very proud moment for me! I did this thing! I made it through Day 1 of Week 2. Me! I did this, and I let her show up and have her say, on this day. And that makes me sad. I want to do this thing! I want to finish this! I want to run this 5K, not walk it, RUN it. I believe I can do it, and I will NOT let that crazy bitch back in my head! I will NOT let her ruin any more runs for me!! I now know she is out there, lingering at the very fringes of my mind, waiting for that weak moment, waiting for me to falter, waiting to see me fail, to help me do it, to hold my hand and walk me safely to the couch, hand me my chocolate bar and tell me this is where I belong, to seal my coffin! THAT BITCH WILL NOT WIN!!! I've beat her before, I can do it again. I can put her in her place!! And her place is NOT in my head anymore!!! We are no longer ROOMIES, BITCH!!! I will give her the win for today, she won this battle, but she will NOT win this war!!! I have a VERY LONG way to go and I will need my friend self confidence, self knowing! With them I've beaten bigger things than this.  Being fat and out of shape is hard, it's a scary place to fight back from but it does NOT compare to where I have been, where I've come from, it does not compare to the mental and emotional battles I've made it through. The fight I had to put up, to break the stranglehold that self doubt has had on me before, was substantial, and took many years. Yes, this bitch was my nemesis for a very long time. And since she's made a reappearance, she has reared her ugly head, I will deal with her! The struggle within began and the struggle within has to end. It is a waste of my time and energy...

Metallica Struggle Within {Black CD}

Reaching out to something you've got to feel
while clutching what you had thought was real
kicking at a dead horse pleases you
no way of showing your gratitude
so many things you don't want to do
what is it? What have you got to lose?
what the hell is it? What is it you think you're gonna find
hypocrite boredom sets into the boring mind

Home is not a home, it becomes a hell
Turning into your prison cell
Advantages are taken not handed out
While you struggle inside your hell
reaching out, reaching out
grabbing for something you've got to feel
closing in, closing in
the pressure upon you is so unreal

struggle within, it suits you fine
struggle within, your ruin
struggle within, you seal your own coffin
the struggling within...

What a weekend!!

The crazy pace of the weekend, had me sleeping and/or lounging most of the day away Sunday... I'm crazy far behind now!! Did a DIY project Saturday afternoon to a pair of my daughters shorts, will post pics this week!!

Going to the airport with BFF Shelli today, putting her son Coleton, on an airplane for Oklahoma.  He is moving there.  So gonna be a long, possible difficult day.  But I promise to be back at this HARD core by Tuesday!!!! I've GOT to get CAUGHT UP!!!!! I promise this week will be the week!!! I'm getting back on track, getting my shit together!! ANd I'm kicking this freaking cold to the curb, I'm had it!!!!

I'm getting there

This cold is kicking my ass! This time change is kicking my ass!!! All I want to do is lay around and sleep!!! But I think I'm starting to feel better. So hopefully it's over soon!
And the weather is BEAUTIFUL, so I've been trying to get outside while we can, cuz odds are this will not last!  It's Michigan, seriously, 70 degrees in March is GREAT but it's just too good to be true!!!
So I'm planning on getting my shit together, VERY SOON and I will be back with some awesome posts, I promise!!
 We have a big weekend ahead of us.  A going away party tonight for my BFF's son, who is moving to Oklahoma. And a big Rock show Saturday night.  So lots of fun pictures should be coming and fun stories. And I will get caught up on my projects, I hope!!! I'm hoping to be back Saturday afternoon with a decent sized post I've been working on since Tuesday {now don't get excited that the amount of time it's taken me to type it means it will be that great, I've just been typing two sentences a day}

So for today, it's this sad little post, a bunch of excuses and promises to do better!!!

theWeekend

Lots of crazy fun stuff has happened since my last post.
~FRIDAY~
 I did go to the barn with Maddy and her long time friend Orion. I took a zillion pictures and a couple turned out pretty good.  It was fun to see them on a horse together again.  When they were younger, Orion had a horse, freckles, and they'd ride that horse together for hours!!! These girls love horses and have a friendship bond that has lasted many years.

 I have to tell you, I'm not a huge fan of riding horses, and I'm a bit apprehensive about being around horses in general.  I am definitely NOT a fan of the world of horse showing. However, my daughter LOVES the horses, she is a horse person, and so I muttle through things, with an occasional anxiety attack and TONS of phone calls and text messages to my BFF Shelli, who is also a horse person! I believe horse people to be made up of different stuff, much like artists, they are just a bit odd, you have to be one of them to really understand them.  That being said, if you are quiet, and watch closely, you can enter their very special world.  You may never understand it, but if you open yourself up to it, you can almost feel it. You'll get a glimpse of how they feel and how they connect with those massive wild creatures, called horses. Because, believe it or not, there is something magical that happens when you watch people who truly love horses, ride. It's that moment when they are riding, for pure pleasure alone, not working on teaching, or trying to master a new skill, not exercising, not working on form, but just riding for fun, just being together.  When they forget you are there watching them and they just enjoy the horse and the moment, it happens, and you are standing right there on the fringes of their magical world, witness to something spectacular, that only the two of them can experience together. They are one. They are communing with each other.  They share emotions and thoughts. They are not talking, just feeling and enjoying.  There is a trust so strong that the rider is no longer hanging on, or directing the horse where to go, they just ride, they move together, one fluid motion. He has lent her his wings, she has given him trust and love, together they soar.  Occasionally even the Eagles will drop from the skies to behold their magnificence, knowing that even with true wings and majesty,  He will never compare, because He does NOT have a rider.  You can see it in both of their eyes, {much like Elvis, they've left the building.}  Trust me when I say the hair on your arms will stand up, and that is when you know you've just witnessed true magic, true love.   Trying to capture that moment on film {or memory card} is a whole different story!!! And that one moment is why I keep going to the barn, and the work sessions, and horse shows and expos. That moment is better than any ribbon, any rider, will ever win. And to be honest, NOT all riders have the great fortune of experiencing this magical moment with their horses. But Maddy has, and she knows the value of it.  I may never understand it, I may never experience it, but I've witnessed it and THAT is close enough for me, and is what will push me to continue supporting her in her endeavors.
Here are a couple of pics from Fridays friend ride

Maddy, Orion, and Chip

He seems happy too, doesn't he!!?!?!!

Odd Artistic photo...

This girl is Magic, great name, huh!!! She has some back problems and can't be ridden. But we are working on becoming friends, mostly she just likes me cuz I feed her treats!!!

This guy is Vince.

I didn't stay long, cuz it was chilly, and this stupid cold is NOT going away, in fact it seemed to be getting worse!!! So I called it a day. Went to dinner and got groceries later.

~SATURDAY~
Up early and off to Michigan State University for the Horse Expo.  This was a bit of a long day, and I'm sure I would have enjoyed it more, had I not been feeling under the weather.  Very crowded, too many people!!! Lots of cool stuff to see, lots of beautiful horses, a zebra, and some donkeys! Didn't get very many pics, it was kinda gloomy in the building...

Maddy and Shelli checking out a new saddle pad for Chip, yep it's pink! Poor guy, she's always dressing him in girly colors!!!

This is one of the "Oh, I just can't decide!!" moments...

Lunch time!!

Somehow, I lost all focus, and stopped taking any meaningful or moderately good pictures on my iPhone at this point...

Good quote!

Checking out some bling!!! Bought the one in the middle!!!

That quote is more MY style!!!

And then there was this massively big guy!!! He is BEAUTIFUL, but a bit cranky today. But who wouldn't be, crammed in a tiny stall being pet and stared at for 3 days!! 

So, yeah the pics are random and not great but, that was our Saturday!! theBoys spent the day at the Honda shop in Mt.P working on Ryan dirtbike.

~SUNDAY~
Stupid time change!! Stupid cold!!!
Had the Camera Club meeting. Went pretty well, got new challenge "Urban Decay" which I think I will love!!! Hope I get some time to go out and get some pics that are cool {in my own mind anyway} Spent the rest of the day lounging around enjoying what was left of my vacation time, hopped up on cold meds...
Maddy went to the barn again.  theBoys spent the day at band practice and then went riding the dirt bikes for a bit.  Everyone enjoyed their personal hobbies this weekend.  THAT is AWESOME! This family really does rock! I'm so grateful for the fact that everyone actually enjoys spending time together!!!