21 Day Challenge ~Day 17-19

Feb 23, 2012 Day 17

Gratitude~

1. I am grateful that Mark Schrauben was willing to come and share his knowledge and time with our Camera Club tonight.

2. I am grateful for all the people that were out for Open Mic night at the River Rock in St. Louis.

3. I am grateful that Tallon sang/played well at Open Mic Night and was well received by the crowd

4. I am grateful I had the drive and ambition to get out of bed early and head to the gym!!

Journal a positive event~

I kinda learned a thing or two about my camera and how it works.

Exercise~

YEP!! I went early this morning, before work, and did Week1 Day 2 of the C25K-couch to 5K program.

Random Act of Kindness, thank someone in your social support network~

I thanked Mark, for coming and teaching us!!

Feb 24, 2012 ~Day 18

Gratitude~

1.  SO GRATEFUL today was Friday!!! Glad to have this week over with, hell, I'm  glad today is over with!! Too many grouchy customers to deal with!!

2. Grateful I decided to take on this 21 day challenge, I think it helps me to try and find the positive on days like today, that kind of suck!!

3. Grateful that I know I can sleep in tomorrow, even if I shouldn't!!

Journal a positive event~

I'm positive that, if 4:30 hadn't come when it did, I may have killed the next rude customer!!! Vacation is just days now!!

Oh! And today I left a little post on one of my daughters, friends, Facebook page, it was her birthday, {that's not my the positive thing} I was touched when she replied that she had actually shed a tear. And she also told Maddy that I had left it and she acted like she thought it was pretty nice! Now the positive thing is that I was able to say something that she was moved by. I was glad that something so little could touch and move someone. 

Exercise~

Nope, it’s my mandatory day off

Random Act of Kindness, thank someone in your social support network~

I thanked the universe, repeatedly, for helping me keep my big mouth shut, when dealing with stupid customers today!!! Does that count???

*Today was not one of the better days during this challenge, but still, it's something!

Feb 25, 2012 ~Day19

Gratitude~

1. I was grateful to sleep in. Funny how when you start getting up really early, it seems like sleeping in when you get up at 8:30am!!

2. I am grateful that I had the strength and determination to soldier on and finish the Day3 of the C25K training! 

3. I am grateful I got to go watch band practice today, even if I should've been doing other things, it was nice to be able to just sit and listen to them {while working on my blog}

4. I am grateful for the technology that I have, that allowed me to type the blog today while not at home!

5. I am grateful that Ryan has decided to go with me and Tallon to Bay City to watch the band.

6. I am grateful that Maddy and a couple of her friends are going to the show also.

7. I am grateful for the warm bowl of chili, after sitting in a cold garage for hours.

Journal a positive event~

Band practice went pretty well, and I think that makes Tallon happy, that everyone is playing well and it's coming together with a new member!! It's been a while since every member of the band was playing well and excited  about being there!!!

Exercise~

YEP!! did my C25K training, week 1 day 3 is in the books, I'm tired as hell, and a my hip sockets are hurting but, I DID IT!!!

Random Act of Kindness, thank someone in your social support network~

Not yet but the day is not over! I will thank all of Tallon's friends for going to the show tonight and I will thank Ryan for deciding to go with me. And I thanked Ryan for making yummy, warm chili!!

I'm writing the blog post today,  from a garage, where I'm wearing half finger mittens, coat, boots, hat, oh and let's not forget earplugs! Yep that's right earplugs!!! Have I mentioned that my son, Tallon and my husband, Ryan are in a Rock band called Nervz End??!?!? I'm sure I have.  Well today they asked if I'd come to band practice and take some pictures.  They need some band pics to send off to some, thing, for some reason, or another, I'm not really sure what it is though!! So here I sit, with my laptop, killing time, enjoying the music {especially since they got the new Bass player, he's awesome!}  And, guess what, you are the lucky ones who get to read, what I ramble on about while listening to heavy metal!!

This morning I finished day3 of the C25K challenge… holy shit! I really thought I might die today. I really, really, am fat and out of shape!! I am definitely going to have to do week 1 over, there is no way that I can move on to week 2, when I barely survived week1.  All three days have been exactly the same ~5 minute warm up, jog for 60 seconds, walk for 90 seconds, alternating for 20 minutes, then walk for 5 minutes.  Stats were almost exactly the same too, 1.8 miles in 30 minutes.  So why the hell was today so much harder than the other two days have been???  I mean, I was truly worried that I might not make it today! Strange.  I'm wondering if it's becuz I just finished having my "girl thing" and maybe my iron is low  ~Yes I know TMI!!!  But seriously this blog is about a fat chic running, it's gonna get personal!! So far I have spared you the picture in your head of what I look like running, but NO MORE!!! I'm gonna share that with you today too!!! So prepare yourself, it’s gonna get ugly!!

 I intentionally run on the only treadmill that is NOT in front of a mirror cuz if I had to see myself, I would get off that thing and walk out, hanging my head in shame!  You remember back in the day they used to have those exercise machines that people stood in and strapped a belt around their waist and it shook or shimmied back and forth??? Well imagine a chubby, cellulite covered, old chic in that contraption and you have a visual of what I look like running. FOR REAL!! The entire time I'm running I worry, which will smack me in the face first, my double chin, my boobs or my giant, fat roll, all of which are bouncing up and down with every jogging step I take. Blub, blub, blub… It looks much like a child on a tramp-o-line! FOR REAL!! Well, I think my double chin may be swinging side to side, you know, the way it looks when  you see a big ole cow come running across the pasture-swoosh, swoosh, swoosh!!!  And then there are my flabby thighs, which are their own entity, but also bouncing with every jogging step.  Kawoosh, kawoosh, kawoosh, in unison with my feet - thud, thud, thud. I've yet to let go of the hand rails for more than 20 seconds at a time, partly becuz I've clumsy, and have a hard time with the treadmill, but mostly becuz I'm afraid that if my arm fat gets in on the flapping, flailing action, I'm a goner!! It's almost painful!! Seriously, it almost hurts having all that fat bouncing with your every step!!! Blub, swoosh, kawoosh, thud, thud!!! If I didn't have my headphones on, and cranked, I'm certain I could actually hear my enormous fat stores making these noises as they bounce and blubble!!  

Then there is my face! I can feel my face getting hotter, and redder, with every 60 second jog. And by the 4th jogging segment, the sweat is so bad it's running down my face!

Occasionally I catch myself singing and hope it's not out loud!

Soooo now that I've painted THAT pretty picture in your mind, you can understand why I avoid that mirror at all costs!!! I could never continue running and seeing ALL that going on!! Really it's that ugly!

Now I get two days off to recover, and I think I will need it.  Lord knows I need the extra time. We have a crazy busy weekend!! After band practice and pictures it's back home, pack up and we are off to Bay City for a rock show at a place called "The Vault" Tallon is in another band, without his dad, he actually plays Bass in that band {he usually plays guitar and sings some vocals in Nervz End}  and they have a show tonight.  It may be painful, that band is Screamo-Emo, at least that's what I call them.  I'm not really a big fan of their music, but I will support my son!!  Sunday, some serious house work MUST get done, and quickly, cuz we are off to another show in Pontiac.  I hate shows on Sundays, but hopefully it goes well.  

I will have another post coming later or possibly tomorrow, with the 21 Day Challenge update, and The Resolution Recap for the week. 

C25K ~Week 1 Day 2

Of yes, I've taken the {stupid ass} walk to a whole new level!!! I got up early this morning so I could try doing this walk/run thing before work, and as it turns out, I'm still a morning person.  I got up, reset the alarm clock, {just in case I drop dead at the gym, Ryan will still wake up in time for work ~and maybe if he notices I'm not back, he will be concerned and come looking for me, maybe} dressed, fed the dogs, and let the dogs out. While the dogs went potty I gathered my goodies; bottle of water{which I almost always forget at home, in the truck or sitting next to my boots, which I don't realize until it's too late} iPhone, headphones, ponytails, and chap stick {it's winter man, never leave home without that stuff} Today I will be adding the flashlight to my pile of goodies, cuz it's DARK out there, and the door to the gym is in a very dark alley, which would be scary to some people, but I AM brave!! Plus, really, what kind of weirdo would come after a fat chick, with nothing to steal except an old school iPhone3, and a giant mag light??? Right. So off I went, mag light and keys in hand, down the scary dark alley, I opened the door to the dark gym annnnddd BOOM the lights come on automatically, and that is the highlight of that scary part of the trip.  So now safely in the gym, I embark on Day 2 of the C25K training program.  The only excitement there was that my shoe came untied.

Like Tuesday, I'm pretty pumped that I finished Day 2!!!! Stats were almost the same, 1.87 miles in 30 minutes.  I'm still planning to do each week twice, I'm just not sure I'm ready to ramp this up just yet. So, on with the day, I am sweaty {and probly stinky} need to shower and be off to work!

21 Day Challenge ~Day 14-16

February 20, 2012 was Day 14 of the 21 Day Challenge
Gratitude~
1. I am grateful that somedays I can just do NOTHING and no one here seems to care, much!
2. I am grateful that I have a husband who doesn't expect me to cook, and who likes to cook himself.
3. I am grateful to hear Tallon playing music so often again, seems like he had lost his desire for a while and it made me sad, and it made him cranky and kinda gloomy, I think.
Journal a positive event~
Ryan's grandma spent most of the day at the hospital with breathing issues, and turns out she is okay, that a positive event.
Exercise~
Nope, it's the day off -the day before I start the new program!!!
Meditation~
Nope
Random Act of Kindness, thank someone in my social support Network~
ummm boy I suck at this one!!! I don't think I did, I was at work all day so not likely

February 21, 2012 ~Day 15
Gratitude~
1. I was grateful my dad stopped by, on his way home to the U.P. {he was down here for a funeral for his buddies dad} Wait maybe that was Monday... oh hell I don't remember!! Oh well.
2. I was grateful to only had to work until noon.
3. I was HUGELY grateful to finish Day 1 of the 5K training program, without dropping dead of a heart attack!!! I was really worried about this.
4. Grateful our taxes are finally done. {Will be even more grateful if that check comes before vacation!!}
Journal a positive event~
Friends little boy had surgery on his ear drum today, he did well.
Exercise~
YEP!! 1.8 miles in 30 minutes
Meditation~
Tried to but again dosed off.  I'm never gonna be able to meditate!!
Random Act of Kindness, thank someone in social support network~
Ugh... thanked the lady at the accountants office, does that count?!?!

February 22, 2012 ~Day 16
Gratitude~
1. Grateful for the day off
2. TMI but-  I am Grateful I finally started my period, cuz the 2 solid weeks of PMS was starting to really wear on my nerves!!! OH and everyone else will be grateful too, I promise you that!!!LOL!!!
3. I am grateful that the urge to eat EVERYTHING in sight has started to subside.
4. I am grateful it's a nice sunny day.
5. I am grateful I managed to get something done today, even if it wasn't much, it was a start
Journal a positive event~
My new pretty necklace came in the mail today, does that count as a positive event??? Cuz I'm positive I'm happy about it, and excited, and grateful it came, even though it's just a inexpensive necklace!!
Exercise~
Technically today is my day to take off, but I still went to gym with the rest of the family. I biked a very slow 3.5 miles.
Random act of kindness, thank someone in your social support network~
this one is killing me!!!

Project Life 2012 ~Week 7

WOW! Week 7, time is really flying this year...
Well here you go a look at my Project Life week 7 This week the pictures are not really in any special order, and some I didn't even journal about

Page 1{left side}
Kinda silly pics this week... We did some shopping Monday afternoon and this is the sign that was on Tallon's dressing room door ~funny!! Pic of his new Bass amp head, see he really is a rockstar!! I stuck my agenda from the Camera Club meeting in one of the journal card spots. The card I got Ryan for Valentine's Day, and a pic of my freshly painted toenails, PlumLuck, very dark plum, almost black! I LIKE it!! Hah! check out those crazy PJ's too!!! 

Insert One{front side}
Some random pics from Saturday. Maddy studying, dog sitting{for Lizzie, the ill behaved Cocker that belongs to my in-laws, good thing that dog is cute!} a couple of the in progress pics of the Script writing shirts I made for Maddy {yes she stole that idea from Pinterest}, and then the final finished product, she wore it to a Black Light Party.  I made the index tab using the Clemetine Project Life cardstock and a punch from Satmpin Up! I used the same paper to make a couple tags on the pics...

We did a bit of shopping on Saturday also.  I got this COOL new mug, it has a skull on it ~SOOO ME!!! And these are all the new shoes I found! I know they aren't all that COOL, but I like them.  They were cheap, the bottom pair came from the clearance rack at Walmart for $7 and the others were both from K-Mart, so yeah, all pretty cheap. I know it's a bit early for sandals too, but I can never find any that don't have the stupid thong that goes between your toe ~I hate those things, hurts my feet!!! And the bottom left is a pic of my yummy chili cheese nachos at the hockey game. Yes, I wrote directly on one of my pics with a photo pen. 

Page Two {right side}
Just a bunch of pics I took outside this week.  Cool droplets of water, dripping off one of our trees, a sunrise, and I big crow in the neighbors tree~he was cawing like crazy! I also included our tickets from the hockey game.  I also put my letters from Cannon in a page protector and included them with this week.  I didn't take pics cuz, it's pretty boring really, but I included it becuz my camera being missing for a couple of weeks, is a pretty big deal, and part of my everyday life! 

So, there you have it, Project Life Week 7... another boring week in my everyday boring life!!! I do really love this project though, even if my life is boring, it's my life and it's good to have memories of the every day boring stuff, not just the BIG moments!! 

BE WARNED ~ EXPLICIT CONTENT AND PROFANITY

I need to warn you, if you are easily offended please STOP reading NOW!!!  I can not afford to lose a single reader, and this post is about to get offensive!!!  If you chose NOT to stop reading, CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!!! This post will contain EXTREME PROFANITY!! I've said it twice now, so don't be shocked!!! I am not an educated person and BUT I am profane, so I can think of no other way, to express my excitement, than by being my natural, crazy offensive, profane self.  So here goes...

I FUCKING DID IT!!! I MOTHER FUCKING FINISHED IT!!!! for a grand TOTAL of 8 MINUTES RUNNING!!!! 1.8 MILES IN 30 MINUTES!!! I was SWEATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCKING FAT PIG but I DID NOT DROP DEAD!!!!! {wonder what I'm talking about yet???}
I FINISHED DAY 1 of the 5K training program MOTHA FUCKAS!!!! YEAH I DID IT!!!! I ROCKED THAT BITCH!!! SERIOUSLY I GOT MY FAT ASS on that treadmill and did NOT GET OFF UNTIL THE END!!!!  DAMN, I AM SOOOOO IMPRESSED WITH MYSELF, but seriously I ROCKED THAT BITCH!!!! Day 1 of the "C25K Couch to 5k" program is IN THE BOOKS, BITCHES!!!! YAY ME!!!!

Okay... whew, having said that, I feel much better!!!! Sure tomorrow my hefty, old girl, body will probly be killing me, but for now I'm riding the wave of runners euphoria!!!! oh geez now I'm cracking myself up, as if I ran hard enough for euphoria to take over!!!!

This program is available on an iPhone app called C25K Free, and it is free.  The plan is that you train 3 days a week.  Allowing your body to heal and build stronger muscles and bones every other day.  So, Week 1 you have a brisk 5 minute warm up, then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for 20 minutes. Then a 5 minute cool down. So a total 30 minutes on the treadmill. Even I couldn't get bored at that pace. I made it all the way up to 4.7 mph at one point, which may seem slow to some of you, but for my fat ass that's movin truckin', HAULING ASS! Seriously, I am VERY out of shape!! The program also says that you can take longer than 8 weeks to complete, if you need to repeat weeks before moving on, you can.  I am sure I will.  My goal is 16 weeks to the full 5k run. I plan on doing each week at least twice, this is not a lack of self esteem issue, it's more a, being realistic with my goals kind of thing. As long as I'm running it by warm weather I will be happy with myself.  Then I can go OUTSIDE AGAIN!!! And OH NATURE is CALLING my NAME!!!!! I want to be outside in the warm sun again, seeing all the fun stuff and taking pics, along my walks.

 BUT, if for some crazy reason, I manage to complete this program within 14 weeks{HAH!!!} I will sign up to run the Memorial Day 5K. Yep, you read it here!!! That's my promise!!

Okay enough with the celebrating my {pathetic little} VICTORY!!! I have got to get something done today, even if it's only making a To Do List for tomorrow!!

February Blahs...

February has been seriously kicking my ASS! And I am about sick of getting my ass handed to me, I know I shouldn't be surprised by this, it happens every year.  February is the shortest month of the year and yet it is the worst!!! We've even had decent weather and I'm still suffering from horrible winter blahs!!! This has GOT TO END!!! So today I'm gonna kick my own ass!!!! And maybe I can finish February off in style...

I will be getting my self back in order this afternoon, {gotta work this morning} hitting the gym {and if I survive day one of the new program} then getting my house in some sort of order, and getting my projects back on track, and maybe, just MAYBE tomorrow I can make some SERIOUS headway on my February ~To Do List!! Be back later with some pictures...

I hear my husband whistling in the kitchen and it sounds like breakfast is being cooked ~Looks like the day is already off to a better start!!!

21 Day challenge, Days 11-13

February 17th ~Day 11 of the 21 Day Challenge
Gratitude~
1. I am grateful I got to go to a Detroit Red Wings hockey game, at Joe Louis Arena
2. I am grateful that I got to sneak out of work early
3. I am grateful to see friends we haven't seen for a while
4. I am grateful to see their son, who we haven't seen in even longer
5. I am grateful the Red Wings won, this was only the second time I've been at a game they won, all other times they have lost... I was starting to worry I was a jinx, and who wants to be responsible for ending the 22 win streak-NOT ME!!!
6. I am grateful it was an exciting game
7. I am grateful I got to see a squid hit the ice
8. I am grateful for the yummy massive amounts of food we consumed
9. I am grateful my camera lens came in the mail today... even if they said nothing was wrong with it and now I'm worried it will break again, but it's back and working for now, so I'm not gonna sweat it until then!!!
WHEW!! I think that's it!!
Journal a positive thing that happened~
The whole day from 4:30 on was pretty positive, so...
Exercise~
Unless you count that mountain of stairs up to the Joe, then NO! Not today
Meditation~
Well, I think I may have sunk into a zen like, food coma on the trip home from Detroit!!
Randon Act of Kindness,Thank person in social support network~
I thanked the friend who took us to the hockey game, more than once!!!

February 18 ~Day 12
Gratitude~
1. theBoys went to Grand Rapids to work on recording CD, so I was grateful for a little peace and quiet.
2. Maddy came home, so I was grateful to see her.
3. Maddy really likes the Script writing I've been working on, and asked me to write on a shirt, for her to wear to a black light party -later that night.
I'm grateful for the compliment, that she likes the writing.
4. I'm grateful she had so much confidence in me, that I could attempt something she would wear in public
5. I'm grateful that it turned out pretty cool
6. I'm grateful for the 3 new pairs of shoes I found -on sale today {I'm going back for the 4th pair before this week is over too!} good thing my husband NEVER reads this, maybe I should be grateful about that right now too!!!
7. I'm grateful for the fun day Maddy and I had.
Journal a positive event~
Ummm, again, the whole day was kind of positive. But finding shoes I like is a pretty big deal. I have short fat hobbit feet, and I hate wearing high heels{mostly cuz I'm sooo clumsy and I walk like a guy in heels} so finding shoes that fit me, that I like is usually a challenge.  This is the ONLY thing from the 80's I'm glad to see come back... flats!!!
Exercise~
Ran out of time, but it was in the plan for the day.  The shopping and shirt making took up way too much of the day!! Oh and I had to paint Maddy's nails too!
Meditation~
Took a Nap!!
Random act of kindness, thank a person in your social support network~
ugh, nope not really!  Unless you count thanking the check out girl at WalMart for not being pissed at me, when I dropped a bottle of nail polish and it broke all over the floor, AT the checkout!!! yeah, I'm clumsy!!

February 19th ~Day 13
Gratitude
1. Grateful that I maintained my composure and didn't kill my cranky husband, when he pissed me off this morning, being a bit of an ass!!! Sure maybe I've been cranky for days now, but this is my blog, which he doesn't read, so I can spin that story any way that I choose!!!!
2. Grateful that we finally went grocery shopping today
3. Grateful we still had enough money for groceries after the hockey game
4. Grateful I didn't kill anyone in Meijers while getting groceries, people are so RUDE!! We need some Spring in this area SOON! People have serious Winter Blues!!!
5. Grateful for the wonderful Salmon, potatoes, and broccoli dinner my husband made, I'm sure it was all part of the sucking up and apologizing for his bad behavior this morning!!! Or maybe he's scared I'm gonna check out on someone soon, so he's trying to make me fat and happy!!! Either way it was yummy!!!
6. Grateful that I ran into a friend, I haven't seen in a while, at the grocery store. She told me her son, who has Cancer, is doing well~hugely grateful for that, for her!!
Journal a positive event~
The most positive thing about my day was finding out that my friends son is doing well and now only has to have a monthly maintenance treatment for the next 3 years.
Exercise~
YES!
Walked a mile, biked 5 and did 7 flights of stairs on the stair climber{note to self, in the future-do stairs first, not last, so maybe I can actually do more!!}
Found a 5k training program on line... It's called "Couch to 5k in 8 weeks" I will be starting that on Monday or Tuesday.  It is pretty intense but only 3 days per week, so maybe I can stick with it!! You can also take longer than 8 weeks, so I am planning on closer to 16-20, unless I am able to tough it out or drop dead, which ever happens first!!!! It's designed so that you can repeat weeks if you need to, and I'm sure I will need to, cuz I'm SOOO unfit!!
Random act of kindness thank someone in your social support network~
I plan to forgive Ryan for his bad behavior, AND thank him for dinner!!!
WHEW!!! That was a lot of catching up!!! Now if I can just get the rest of my life caught up!!

I will post the shirt painting project this week some time.  I think it actually turned out pretty dang cool...

21 Day Challenge ~Day 10

February 16, 2012 was day 10, that's right I've made it into double digits. WOOHOO! Anyone out there doing the challenge with me???? Let's hear how you're doing!?!?!?

Gratitude~
1. Grateful that my BFF, Shelli took me to lunch. She paid, cuz she's a brat like that.
2. Grateful the Fed Ex man came, but I wasn't home to accept delivery, so I have to wait until today to find out what the heck he's bringing me!!! I hope it's my camera lens!!!
3. Grateful that I saw a friend at the gym
4. Also grateful about how much faster the biking goes if you have someone to talk to. Can't talk and walk though...
5. Grateful I managed to keep my attitude some what in check for most of the day.
6. Grateful that my daughter thinks my Script School writing lessons have gone well, and she would like me to make her a shirt with words on it. I told her I'm not sure I can handle it, yet. She thinks otherwise!
Journal positive event~
While I was chatting with friend at gym, he told me it always made him feel better when he talked to me! I asked why, cuz it confirms in your mind that their really are crazies out there?!?!?!

Exercise~
SURE DID!!!! I walked a mile and then I biked 6 miles. WOOHOO!! Oh and about 2 weeks ago we added that Greek Yogurt, to our meal line up instead of regular yogurt.  So one more all natural, healthy thing in the diet.  It took some getting used to, but now I kinda like it.  I don't LOVE it yet, it's kinda thick for me. But it's better for me, so I will acquire a taste for it.

Meditation~
not really but I researched it, found out how to meditate properly, and found out that their is nothing wrong with me cuz it makes me sleepy!! Good to know.  A lot of people get sleepy.  Personally, for me, I really think it means that I've already learned how to clear my mind, and relax.  I'm not big on stress. Worry never changes a thing, only action.  If I can't change the situation or control it, why sit and worry about it.  The universe will take care of it, the way it was meant to be handled. I figure the Universe takes on WAY bigger things, every moment, of every day, than my trivial worries, so why shouldn't I trust that my issue will be easily resolved for the peeps with THAT kind of power!!!!  My job is to find the positive in the situation or learn the life lesson I am meant to learn and keep movin' on and getting better.  So in short, I meditate for about 10-15 minutes before I fall asleep every night.

Random act of kindness Thank someone in social support network~
no, this is turning out to be kind of hard.  I'm obviously bad at thanking people.  And my social support network is small, so I'm working on this one!!

Going to a Red Wings Hockey game tonight with some friends!!! That's pretty exciting stuff, so today's thankful list will be BIG!!!
Still working on getting those One Little Word pics. Ali Edwards did tell us to consider what we are trying to invite into our lives with this word, and maybe take pics of that.  That would make it easier I guess.  I have one or two ideas now, but I need NINE good ones!
Dog sitting Saturday for my in-laws, well actually Tallon is supposed to be but he is going to Grand Rapids with Ryan to the recording studio to work on new CD... so I get dog.

Slow like the Tortoise, that's ME

I've always been a bit slow... Slow on the uptake, slow learner, slow walker, slow decision maker, slow to process things, slow typer, I even have a slow heart rate, low blood pressure & body temperature. I'm just generally slow at most everything I do. Turtle speed.  How does this factor into today's blog post? Well, I've been trying to figure out why exactly I'm so cranky, I mean besides the fact that I seem to be having a full 2 weeks of PMS, which is lovely, but I can muddle through that. Nope, there is something else going on with my subconscious, which I intended to figure out, slowly of course.  This morning I had an Aha! moment, a Wow! moment, I've got it!!!
I knew I wasn't directly pissed off at anyone, certain people were annoying me more than usual, but nothing that was their fault really.  So this had to be on me, somehow, and it is!!! I am irritable, due to my lack of forward motion, especially over the last 3 weeks.  I think I'm actually a little bit pissed at myself, or maybe that is how I motivate myself, get pissed off at myself, not sure.  Either way, it's got me thinking, and that's at least some kind of forward motion, right?!?!? Over the holidays I was okay with my lack of exercising, I was busy and we had a lot going on, I just wasn't able to get to the gym. But now I'm looking for any excuse NOT to go, I don't want to go, I don't care to go. That's just stupid, and it's bringing me down. I am overwhelmed by the "Attic and Library Project" I know I need to get that handled but I just don't even know where to start, it's very daunting!  On top of my complete laziness, and overwhelmedness{yes I know that's not really a word, but I like it!} I got the February prompt for the "One Little Word", Ali Edwards, project I'm doing.  This prompt is killing me!!! Usually I expect to wait for a bit for ideas to come to me, and they aren't always good ideas, sometimes they are cooky ideas, or simple ideas, or stupid ideas, but at least they are ideas and I can work through them, change them up, move on to other ideas. Right now I've got NOTHING!!! I don't even have to have a great idea, I mean really, this is my personal project, it's not like it's for someone else. When I work on the kids scrapbooks I try to consider how they would like things to look, stuff they like, but this project is all for me, so even a hokey, cooky idea would be great right about now.  Maybe I'm worried cuz I know I will be showing all of you, and what you will think of my crazy approach to this project.  Shouldn't really matter, it's my project, I'm the only one who has to like it/understand it right?!?!?  I even considered changing my "Word" so this would be easier!!! But that seems a little like quitting to me and I might be lazy and I might be slow but I'm not a quitter.

So today is a new day!! I'm not letting any excuses keep me from the gym. I'm going to keep an open mind about this project, it will come to me, and I'm going to try and find an approach to the attic that makes it seem less daunting and overwhelming {like a dumpster and close my eyes and just start pitching stuff in!}
Today I am moving forward, slowly, but at least it's forward motion!!! It's a long process, this giant list I've set up for myself this year, but as long as I keep my eye on the finish line and keep working toward the goals, I will get there. I will make it to the end of this, slowly but surely, I will finish.  HEY, that's okay, we all remember who won that one race- you know the ONE race they ALL talk about to this day, it wasn't the hare, it was the tortoise... Today I am the tortoise, BE THE TORTOISE!!! I may be slow, but I am no quitter, I am the tortoise!!! I am also cracking myself up right now!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

21 Day Challenge ~Day 9

Gratitude~
1. I was grateful to see noon today, I was starving.
2. I am grateful the week is more than half over
3. I am grateful I do not have to leave this house again for the rest of the night, and so are the people that would have to come in contact with me... I am super cranky!!!
4. I am grateful that the days are getting longer. I HATE the dark, and the cold!!!
5. I am grateful that every single day that passes is one day closer to Spring.
Journal~
I'm not sure there has been any positive events today. Cuz today I have a bad attitude!!!
Exercise~
F**k That SHIT!!!! I do NOT want to go to the gym today!!!!! And I'm not gonna!!!
Meditation~
Yeah, I'm planning to meditate at about 10pm  9pm tonight and just keep on meditating all night long, and then maybe I'll wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow!!!!
Random Act of Kindness thanks to one person in your social support network~
NOT today!!! Actually they should be thanking me for NOT killing them with my bare hands!!!

WOW!!! I can't even type nicely... I should go to bed now!!!
I'll be back tomorrow and I'll be in a better mood, hopefully!!!

21 Day Challenge day 5-8

Holy Crap, I'm way way behind!!! I was gonna do this last night but I got caught up doing Script School practice, then decided to cut my fingernails and toenails and then paint my toe nails! Most girls would've said I got a mani/pedi... NOT me, I'm just not that girly!! {not that there is a single thing wrong with being girly, I'm just NOT.  Sometimes I wish I was more girly, and sometimes I worry that Stacy & Klinton are hiding behind the hoodie rack ready to jump out at me! I do not want to end up on an episode of What Not TO Wear! But if I did I might actually turn down the money, I'm not sure I care to change the way I dress or the way I look.  This is me, don't like it, don't look.  I'm cool with it!  Although I do wish that there were more COOL options out there for fat girls} I do not paint my fingernails anymore, EVER.  I find it to be more hassle than it's worth AND I find too many nail polishes will leave strange streaks of color on certain types of paper and that just ticks me off when I scrapbook or do other kinds of art, so I quit wearing it YEARS ago.  I do paint my toe nails cuz even the least girly of girls, likes to have nice looking toes, especially since toes are so dang ugly anyway! And I also watched The River. Good show but I always have weird dreams after watching that show.
Anyway so getting back to the point! I am way behind so here are the last 4 days worth of the 21 Day Challenge:

Feb 11th ~Day 5
Gratitude ~
1. Grateful that Maddy was able to get in for a hair cut this morning, our hair dresser is just that nice that when she had no openings she opened early for Maddy, cuz she only comes home on the weekends.
2. Grateful that Maddy's 2nd tattoo went off without a hitch. Seriously they mess that up and that's a life time screw up!!!
3. Grateful that band practice went well and lately Tallon seems more inspired to write and play!{wanna hear it, go to Facebook, or Reverb Nation and look up Nervz End!!}
4. Grateful that Ryan has such good friends, went to a 40th B-day Party Saturday night!!
Journal one positive event~
 Had Pizza for Supper with Maddy and her friend and her family at Pizza Sams Saturday night, YUMMY, SO GOOD!!!
Exercise~
nope
Random Act of Kindness thank one person in social support network~
Thanked Julie for inviting us to party!

Feb 12th ~Day 6
Gratitude~
1. Grateful that 4 people showed up for the Camera Club meeting
2. Grateful that my son brought me the stuff I forgot at home
3. Grateful the meeting went well
4. Grateful for all of Marks help at the meeting
5. Grateful that Mark brought me a lens to borrow
Journal one positive event~
At Camera Club meeting Mark offered to hold classes, where he would teach the basics on how to run camera.  That was pretty cool!
Exercise~
nope
Random Act of Kindness or thank someone in social support network~
Didn't do, but I think maybe I should make a point of thanking Mark on the Alma Camera Club Facebook page, never too late, right?!?!?

Feb 13th ~Day 7
Gratitude~
1. SO GLAD for a day off and NO ONE is home.  Don't know why but the quiet was really nice this morning.
2. Grateful Tallon got his new Bass amp/cab, although it is quite loud.
3. Grateful my son still likes me to go shopping with him. And that Maddy met us at the store to help Tallon buy a new outfit.
4. Grateful Ryan finally decided we should get groceries.
Journal one positive event~
I managed to get some housework done and ALL our bedding washed!
Exercise~
YES!!! I walked a mile and biked for 20 minutes!!!
Random act of kindness or thank someone in social support network~
didn't do...

Feb 14th ~Day 8
Gratitude~
1. So grateful for another day off!
2. Grateful that I ran into a {volleyball mom} friend who I haven't seen for quite a while, it was nice to talk to her!!!
3. Grateful I'm finally feeling a bit more energetic and less lazy!!!
Journal positive event~
My husband drove out to McDonalds for a Shamrock shake and then to the gas station for a chocolate bar, yep, that was my Valentines Day gift!!!
Exercise~
Nope, but I've devised a new strategy to get my husband to go to the gym... it's not nice but it will work.
Random act of kindness~
I bought both my kids and husband Valentines Day cards and gifts.  I got Maddy some crackle nail polish too!!

Well that's it!  I'm up to date, let's see if I can keep it this way!!!! I'm off to work today.  Still struggling horribly with my One Little Word prompt for this month!!! I need some inspiration for things I can take pictures of that speak of what my Word means, which is RECLAIM... any suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comment box!!!

Project Life 2012 week 6

Alright, so here's week 6 of my Project Life album... a bit different this week, what with no camera lens and only my iPhone to take pics with{yeah so the quality isn't great either} and I chose to try and take on the "A Day In The Life" Ali Edwards challenge.  Lots of extra pages, and LOTS of journaling. Ready...

Page One {left side}
 Yep that's a sideways picture of Maddy and my lunch at Bennigan's {that happened a lot this week, cuz I kept forgetting that I'd need these pictures for my PL album.} And a pic of theBoys in their riding gear, and the cylinder off Tallons old Yahama 250. Yep another blown up bike!

Inset One ~front side
I used the Becky Higgins grid cards for the title and I made the index tabs and the little "everyday life" note things out of the Clementine Project Life matching cardstock. I kind of did a matchy matchy thing on this section, cuz I wanted to try and tie the whole A Day In The Life thing together... make sense??? This side shows my morning routine, and my desk at work.

Insert One ~back side
I also used the larger, folding journal cards for my 4x6 journaling. more work pictures and the yummy Cadbury Egg I found today.
 

Insert Two ~front side
My lunch time errands and more journaling about my day...

Insert Two ~back side
So here are more odds and ends from the day, not in order. By now you may be getting sick of seeing my boring day, cuz I did post all these pics on the blog already... Sorry for the repetitiveness. 

Insert Three ~front side
This is a little insert, with supper prep and my mailbox {which I am considering doing an entire scrapbook page about, {I wonder if someday down the line the kids, or grandkids will laugh about that crazy mailbox??} Almost done with the Day In The Life pics...

Insert Three ~ back side
And that is the last of the inserts... more of my day, my yummy shamrock shake, and another journal card.  

Page Two {right side}
Annnnnddd MORE journaling!!! I also included my "Lunch time errands"  things to do kind of list, and some receipts for the day. It might be silly to include those but they are a part of everyday life, and I think it might be fun to look back at the cost of postage, or look at lists I had to make just to run down town {shows just how forgetful I was even before I got really old!!}  You can see there is another sideways pic of my new hat, that I LOVE {the hat not the pic -the pic is terrible} And there is a blank spot where a picture of Maddy getting her new tattoo goes, once I print it.  I have to leave myself notes in the book too!

Well there you have it, another exciting week completed!!!!
I am now 3 days behind the documenting of my 21 day challenge, but I will be posting that, either later tonight or early tomorrow morning... I know you do not want to miss a moment of that!!!!

out of wack and lazy!!!

My schedule has gotten all out of wack, and I've been lazy the last few days, and I will be posting the Project Life week 6 later today, was struggling a bit with last week, due to the lack of camera lens it's hard to take pics!!! But I think I've gotten it worked out and I will be back later today with some interesting stuff!!! And I haven't given the 21 day challenge update either...ugh!!! I must get caught up!!!!

A Day In The Life 2012

So a few days back {the awesome} Ali Edwards wrote on her blog that she was doing a Day In The Life again. I've never tried doing it before and said to myself {yeah I do way too much of that, don't I!} "Hey, you're the crazy one who decided this year was gonna be a big {leap} year, why not give it a whirl!!" I mean what did I have to lose right, what is the worst thing that can come from photo documenting your entire day??? Well, I could find out my life is extremely boring!! Then it occurred to me that my camera is broken {BIG ugh!!!} That's okay, I'll use my iPhone and if the pics suck, thats okay cuz at least I took on the challenge, so here are my Day In The Life pics...

Breakfast and the laptop. Checking emails, blogging, checking over things to do lists, checking Facebook, getting all my ducks in a row for the day... hopefully

Off to work
 this is my desk... where I take service calls and messages...

And where I do bookwork...

And this is Ryan's desk, where I get on the Internet and register warranties on new furnaces...

And during my lunch I ran some errands, mailed my camera lens

Dropped off taxes

Stopped off at the Internet place, and picked up a new "box"

After errands and {hopefully} fixing the internet, I rewarded myself with a horrible but yummy lunch

Which I ate at my desk.

Grabbed the mail...
 Yes our mail box still has my granpa's name on it and we've lived here for like 12 years, it's even lost a few letters! The whole mail box really needs replaced but I kinda like it.

New art supplies arrived this afternoon! WOOHOO!

YAY!!! Those will have to wait until later

Cut up, baked potatoes{cuz we're out of tin foil} and broccoli

With Ham~Frick'n Gluten Free ham... yep, we are a Gluten Free household!! Sometimes it sucks, and the name of this ham cracks me up!!! Cuz I'm foul mouthed an inappropriate ALL the time!!

Our cute little table in the kitchen, I got this so I could sit and eat with Ryan, who has to stand to eat, due to a medical conditions from being Gluten Intolerant for many years and a hernia... He's a mess!!
 

Desert!! Found this yummy little guy while out running errands today!  {Now if you are paying attention this is when you realize I've eaten a shit ton of calories today~And there is no sign of pics from the gym!!!}

We were planning on heading to the gym, but realized we were out of dog food, so off to WalMart we go! Grabbed a few other things{of course!!}

did some laundry...

Decided that Script School practice work looked way more appealing than going to the gym this late at night, soooo did that instead!!!

And that is pretty much The Day In MY Life... yeah I know WOW!!! What an exciting life I lead!!! I realized later there were probly a few more mundane tasks I could've shared, like the constant task of letting dogs in and out, texting my daughter, and I could've included an occasional Tallon sighting. The pics aren't great either, but I accomplished the task! I documented an entire day in my life in photos.  I am considering having them all printed in these Instagram photos and putting together a mini album. If I figure out where to order them and actually complete that task, YOU will be the FIRST to know!!!!!

21 Day Challenge ~Day 4

Ok so Feb 10th was day 4 and here's how it went
Gratitude-
1. SOOOO grateful it's Friday
2. I am SOOO grateful that, when I forgot Lyric under the table at Lonestar, he was still there when I went back for him
3. I was grateful that when I realized I had left Lyric behind, and told my husband we had to go back, NOW!!! he didn't even get mad, he just said, "Well it has been a long time since you left your purse anywhere!" {I have a bad habit of forgetting my purse, we had to drive an hour, each way, to retrieve it at least twice!}
bonus points-
4. I was grateful to get my allowance
5. I was grateful to be taken out for date night
6. I was grateful for my new gift

Journal Positive event-
Friday is almost always date night at our house, which means, we go to Mt. P, go to dinner, and then get groceries.  Some weeks, including last night, we stop at the bike shop too! At the bike shop my husband bought me the Fox hat, I've been wanting!! It has a big Fox head on it and it is striped black & the same dark plum color as Lyric, so it matches my black fleece and my {awesome} bag!! Very cool addition to my winter hat collection!!

Exercise-
Yeah, nope!

Meditation-
nope

Random Act of Kindness/thanks to person in your social support group-
Ummm... I thanked Ali and Sheri for being loyal blog readers!
AND thank you all for reading also, even though I have no idea who you all are... feel free to leave a comment so I know!! What if I had an awesome giveaway, would you all leave a comment, if it meant winning a prize?????

Back later with Day 5... Big day ahead. Hair cut with Maddy, the gym, get groceries, Maddy getting new tattoo{wishing I was getting a new one as well} working on stuff for camera club meeting on Sunday, theBoys have band practice and then we are off to a friends 40th birthday party!!

Resolution Recap

New Year's Resolutions/Goals/Wishes&Dream/One Little Word ~Recap

How do you think I did this week??? I can tell you before we even begin, serious FAIL, possibly the worst week I've had since we started this whole thing. BUT without FAILURE there is no SUCCESS!!! So after I make this list, we will go forward into next week.  This week is done, let it be done, gone, over!! Next week is a whole new week just waiting to be successful!!! "Along with the Sunshine, there's gotta be a little rain sometimes, I never promised you a rose garden!" WHOAW!!! Now that was a sure sign I've been listening to WAY too much country music!!!! {Which I suppose is what you do when you are a good mom, and your son is the morning DJ at a local country music station, but it's killing me!!! I do HATE country music ~nothing personal it's just not my thing! I'm not saying it's all bad, I just prefer my metal!!! ~But this is a whole 'nother topic for a whole 'nother day} Let's get to that list, I'm procrastinating listing my failures... Let's jerk off that band aide all at once, fast!!!
**Order-well I didn't miss any appointments, I ran all of my errands. So that's something
**Project list-FAIL, no projects this week
**Attic-FAIL
**heath and fitness-EPIC FAIL, no gym all week and ate massive amounts of chocolate, and it's not even PMS week!!! ugh...
**Looking for inspiration-I looked, I found a few tidbits.
**desire to creaute, ehhh, ugh kinda failed here to
**Project Life and regular scrapbooking- PL sits totally empty so far this week, but I will catch it up on Saturday!! I Promise that! Regular scrapbooking, nope, not yet!
**Art related classes-worked on Script School, new supplies came and the gouache was so much better but my heart just wasn't in it this week.
**Take better pictures-hard to do when you have no lens! I did use my iPhone a lot more this week and that's been part of this goal. I posted some to Instagram too.
**Camera Club- did kind of work on some stuff for the club, meeting is Sunday, and I put a small amount of info together for that.
**Adventure-Fail! No adventure at all!!
**Control over finances-got a little change in my pocket {going jing-aling-aling-Sorry after that country music reference we needed at least one rock reference!} And all the bills for this week were paid on time, on line. Still No savings account started or anything grand like that!!
**Time management-Hmmm, I have gotten up early almost every day this week, I HATE that it's still dark out at 6am. And 7am...
**Time with Peeps-I did talk to Maddy about spending Spring Break up North in the U.P. visiting my Dad. I have never been to his actual home in Kincheloe.  I've been to the campsite he spends his summers at but never his house.  So that's what we are doing.

The 21 Day Challenge, well you've seen how that's going.  I'm ok in the gratitude department and the positive event but the rest, not so much.  If I find the time, I'm gonna research what it means when you can't meditate without falling asleep!! I think it means my mind is at peace!! I'm going with that until I read differently!!!!!!!

OKAY, so now that I've typed it, I think it doesn't look SOOO BAD, still a fail, but not EPIC FAIL  I could've done worse, I could do much better, and will, but that is NOT horrible... Soldier on, I say!!!!
That's it for now, I'll be back later with the daily results of the 21 Day challenge.
Gotcha hangin' on the edge of your seats, don't I....

21 Day Challenge ~day 2&3

Day 2 {Feb8th}
*Gratitude
1. I am so grateful it's sunny out today!!
2. I am grateful that I have a job that allows me to come back from lunch half an hour late, and still have a job! {Of course, I would just sleep with my boss, if that's what it takes to keep my job!!! This would be a good time to share, with those readers who don't actually know me, that I work in a family business, and technically my husband is my boss!!}
3. I am grateful that Aly Brecht mentioned the shamrock shakes being back! Went and got one for lunch today!
Bonus points-
4. I am grateful my new art supplies arrived
5. I am grateful that I also found a Cadbury Egg today!
*Positive Event
During my {errand running} lunch hour{and a half} I stopped at the Internet place and got a new "box" and installed it. And it seems to have fixed our problem! Let's hope anyway! Cuz if not I am going postal on Jimmy, the Internet fixer guys, ass!!! Which would turn this positive event into a tragic one!!!
*Exercise
Nope! Unless you count the errand running...
*Meditation
HA! Nope!
Random Acts of Kindness
dang, nope again! It's hard when your "social support network" is really small.

Day 3 {Feb9th}
*Gratitude
1. I'm Grateful for all the well wishes on Facebook, for our anniversary today
2. I'm grateful that I got sent home from work an hour early, so I could make dinner
3. I'm grateful dinner tasted good, and I didn't ruin it.
4. I'm grateful for ANOTHER sunny day.
*Positive Event
Not really sure I had one, it was pretty much an uneventful day. I'm gonna go with my husbands Facebook post today, to me where he said "Happy anniversary to my beautiful wife Denise Weatherby. 21 years ago today we got married!" The fact that he still thinks I'm beautiful is the crazy part, I mean I have nearly doubled my size since we got married!!! Seriously!!!
*Exercise
Nope! Geez, I really should go do something, but dinner was soooo big and I can barely move!! And I think I may skip out on the gym thing for a few days, cuz I gotta get some crap done around this hell hole of a house!! My Christmas tree is still up, for Pete's sake!!! And I got a huge list of things that MUST be handled by the end of February.
*Meditation
I'm totally nixing this from the list... seriously I can NOT meditate without falling asleep!! I wonder what that says about me...
*Random acts of kindness
Hmmm... I thanked my husband for his nice post. I thanked a friend of Ryan's on Facebook, for a really nice post he left about our family... Again the only people I saw today were my husband, my son, my mil, the employees, a sales rep, and the dogs. Aside from Facebook I've had very little social interaction for days!!!

Well that's day 2&3.

Did I mention my camera lens is broken, yeah! That SUCKS!! And I'm bummed in all kinds of crazy ways, but one of the biggest is that I like to put pics on here, even if they suck, cuz I think it adds some fun to my boring little blog.  I've been trying to take some with my iPhone, but I haven't uploaded them to this laptop yet cuz well, there are over 800 pics on my iPhone and since I haven't uploaded to this computer it's gonna want to load them all and that would kinda suck and take up a lot of room, and take more time than I've had lately, so before the week is over, I'm hoping to take this on!!
And I did Ali Edwards "A Day In The Life" yesterday, so I'm gonna try and do a post on that, even though my days are kinda boring...

So there ya have it, see ya tomorrow!!!

21 Years and Counting

I've been working on several titles for this blog... "21 Years of Wedded Bliss", "21 Years of Hell", "21 Years of Great Make-Up Sex but I Still Hate Your Guts", "We Made it This Far, But Can We Survive Another 21", "21 Years of You being a Selfish, Cranky Ass & Me Being Emotionally Unstable, Big Mouth, loose cannon", "21 Years of No Romance, Raising Kids, Paying Bills, and Other Boring Mundane Things", "21 Years of Wild and Crazy Times & Happy Lifelong Memory Creating".   Even though any one of these could have been true at any given moment within the last 21 years, the more important thing is that they were all true!!
This past week the new JCPenney flier/catalog came in the mail.  Now here is where I tell you that inspiration comes in many forms and you never know when it's gonna hit you. I was flipping through the catalog and trying to decide if there was any good stuff in it and how I felt about their new approach to sales, when I stumbled upon the story of Winnie & Marshall Kuykendall who've been married for 83 years. I'm still not sure why this story was in the catalog, other than Valentine's Day falls in this month, but I sat and read the entire story.  And when I was done, I thought how nice to have your story forever immortalized in this catalog. Shouldn't everyone have their story on paper, or type, for their children to remember and share with their children, and their children's, children and so on. So I was inspired to share "our" story, on our 21st anniversary and BOOM this blog post was born!! I've been soul searching, trying to decide how much detail  you all really want to know... If it gets to be too much or you are bored, I'll understand, skip a few paragraphs!!

My future husband and my brother played baseball on the same summer league team.  I loved baseball and my brother so I went to most of the games.  One day, at a game, my mom asked this blond haired boy if he would mind getting her a drink from the big water jug, and he politely did. When he came back with it, I asked if he'd mind getting me one too, he said NO! And he really didn't get it. JERK!!! And that is the very first time I met him!! Well this kid hung out with my brother and his friends all Summer, seems he had just moved into our "hood".   That Summer I worked a bit, but I still saw him quite a bit too.  We became friends, he'd even hang out when my brother wasn't there, which seemed perfectly normal to me, I had lots of guy friends. We went to the movies once with a group of friends, it all seemed normal and perfectly harmless to me.  Then around homecoming time, he asked me if I'd go to the dance with him... Well that caught me way off guard, but I said sure. No one else had asked, {I wasn't a hot commodity}and I kinda had this philosophy that if a boy had the guts to ask a girl out, you should always say yes.  It's a date, what could it hurt, if you hate them, no more dates! And that my friends is how it ALL started!! This is where I should tell you that I was almost 18, a senior in high school and Ryan was 15, and a Sophomore in high school!!! YES, I'm serous!!! I should also add that I was a bit of a train wreck! I'd been in a few serious relationships that had not gone well, he'd never really been in one at all. We dated, we broke up, we got back together, we broke up... this cycle went on for several years.  I had a lot of issues to deal with and he was very jealous and possessive. But after he graduated he bought a ring and asked me to marry him!! For real, this guy was a gluten for punishment!! I said yes, and we started to plan a wedding. Well then early December we figured out I was prego! So we moved the wedding ahead to February!! Sometimes I think that he was pretty sure I would chicken out, so he got me knocked up!!WAHAHAH!!! Which turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened to me, really!!!! Then came the second baby, not long after!  Somewhere along the way I decided that if WE were gonna survive I might need to consider some counseling, which we could not afford, so I read a lot of self help books, and we fumbled our way through life. Our way of doing this has never been considered normal by ANY therapist on this planet! But we did things our way!! Sometimes you may see us talk to each other and think dang they are mean! It may look ugly to some people, we call it keeping it real! We both say what we think, and are honest with the other, about all things that matter.  I say "Does this make me look fat?", he says "YES, as big as a barn!!" I know he will never let me leave the house in something ugly! We decided a long time ago that neither of us is prefect but accepting each others imperfections is what's kept us together.  
And never trying to change the other person! He is who he is, he does what he does.  I am who I am, I do what I do! We accept that! It works for us. He is grumpy, I am too happy.  He can be an ass, I spend too much money.  I have issues and insecurities, he has the patience and understanding of a saint. He is quiet, I talk too much.  He's an adrenaline junkie, I enjoy the sorts he participates in and I'm content to watch, knowing someday he could be a vegetable. I got fat, he turned into a chubby chaser. He has social anxiety, I enjoy being around people. He behaves like a proper young man in public and usually keeps his opinion to himself, I behave badly at times, and say what I'm thinking without thinking.  He is confident and has taught me to be confident. He is very serious and I have taught him to laugh. We embody the phrase opposites attract and yet we share a lot of interests and values.  We both LOVE music, we share political opinions, and we {mostly} agreed on how to raise the kids. We have given each other as much as we have taken from the other.
No REAL relationship is perfect and we are definitely no exception to that rule, that's for sure. There have been good times and bad times. Happy times and sad times. There's been give and there's been take. And there have been times I wondered how/why neither of us shot the other in the head with the hunting rifles{for real}!!!!
We didn't do it by the rules but we did it our way and we will continue to do it our way!!! Hopefully for the rest of our lives, for better or worse...

So, if you read this, Ryan, Happy Anniversary!

21 Day Challenge ~day 1

Okay yesterday was day 1 of the 21 Day Challenge, and here are my results:

*Gratitude
1.  I am grateful that our household has never required that I work more than 20 hours per week. I was grateful it was my day off.
2.  I am grateful Jimmy, the internet guy, decided he thinks he has solved our internet problem-finally
3.  I am grateful my husband is giving me the money to mail my broken {brand new} camera lens back.
*Journal-
I'm typing it here, so I consider it journaled... Ah yesterdays positive event was, that Mark Schrauben{friend and co-creator of the Camera Club} offered me a camera lens, since mine is broken. And my friend Sheri offered to share hers with me on our next photo challenge trek{which is Sunday} I am also grateful that I have such thoughtful and giving friends!
*Exercise
failed, but it wasn't my fault, it was the damn meditation !!
*Meditation
 yep, sat down in that chair with the sleeping bag{cuz I was freezing cold all day yesterday} closed my eyes for 2 seconds and I was out like a light!! So, no trip to the gym, but I did manage to stay awake watching tv until 11:00.  Like that new show The River.
*Random Acts of Kindness
Didn't do this but I never left the house or really saw anyone yesterday.  Guess I could thank Mark and Sheri on Facebook, for being so thoughtful!! I'll give that a whirl today, that will freak people out, me being nice!!

Today, I'm off to work, have to run to the post office, drop off taxes, and stop at the Internet place and get a new box thingy.
I WILL be doing some exercise today, maybe NO meditation though... HOPEFULLY my new art supplies will arrive today and I can get in some exercises for Script School.  Still looking for ideas for my pictures for the Feb. OLW prompt, maybe I should have chosen an easier word!!! UGH!!!
I'm trying to figure out what we should talk about at the Camera Club meeting coming up here on Sunday, I'm a little frustrated disappointed at the lack of input from most of the members of the club, and I'm trying to figure out what else I should be doing as a leader to get them involved and participating more.  I'm kinda bad at this, I do think!!!
AND I'm putting together a lengthy, TMI blog post for Thursday, you will not want to miss that!!!LOL!!!!

That will keep me busy enough that I will NOT have to tackle the attic again this week, all I needed was an excuse! I have to get to that, I can't put away the Christmas tree until I can get in the attic, so yeah, that is STILL up!!!! I swear I WILL do this before I go on Spring Break!!!

New Challenge

This morning, I while eating my breakfast, I was browsing through some of the blogs I read, I came across this story on chookooloonks.com about another one of the TEDtalks.
The youtube video is called "Shawn Achor: The Happy Secret to Better Work."  You should definitely go watch this video, because he says things much more poetically than I will restate them. And I will take what I need from the video, and you may get something entirely different from it.  I watched the video and I agree with his basic point.

I think that maybe I already tend to live my life that way, or at least, I try to.  I kind of live by this  motto; If there is nothing you can do to control the outcome, if it is out of your control, then why are you stressing about it? Give it to the Universe, cuz everything works out the way it was meant to anyway, even if you don't like the outcome. Try to find the positive in every situation, what can you learn from this, how can you grow as a human being.  ~At least that's how I try to live! Does it always work out for me, NO!!! Am I always a ray of sunshine and happiness? NO!! May I possibly require a SADD light to get through the depressing winters here in Michigan? YES! Have there been times in my life when I thought the pain and sadness might just consume me? YES! My life has been far from perfect, and I found a  lot of unhealthy ways to deal with things in the past. Some of the ways I dealt have had a few good times and laughs attached to them but at the end of the day they have a lot more regrets   attached to them. Wait regrets is the wrong word, I regret nothing in life! From every bad decision comes a life lesson and it helps to create who you are as an individual. I'm not sure what the right word is, maybe baggage is the right word.  You make bad decisions and you have to drag that around with you for a long time, or until you figure out how to unload it. ANYWAY, my point is that life is not perfect but being unhappy and stressed can not fix it, so I try my best to be as happy as I can, as often as I can..

Back to his video... he talked about how our brains work better in a positive state, called the happiness advantage. Being happy puts your mind in a better place to learn and create and do better work and lots of other things. I think that he is very right but I also think that when it comes to naturally creative people it kind of goes both ways. You need to be creating to be happy, to some degree. Even if you are making crap work, you have to make something, or your mind becomes overloaded with the unhappy bugs{I'm sure science has a name for those} and they take over!! For a lot of creative people art{in any form} is an escape. When I was younger all I ever wanted to be was an artist. I drew, I painted{with the little cheap watercolor sets, the ones for little kids,cuz we were poor and that's all I could get} I loved art class and when my guidance counselor told me I couldn't be an artist, I needed a real career choice, something that could make money and I needed to go to college, I was totally bummed out. But obviously she knew more than me, she was sitting in an office, with a desk, wearing a suit. And no one told me she was wrong.  No one told me I had other options, or that I was good at what I did. So I did other things, I stopped drawing and painting.  And by the time someone did tell me I was good at it, I didn't believe them. Thankfully there were other artistic influences in my life like music, that helped me deal with a lot of my issues, and I'm not saying that lack of art in my life was the only factor to me being unhappy, I'm saying that it's presence may have helped me stay happier, may have been an outlet for my anger and other less wonderful emotions.   At some point in my life I decided I knew more about myself than anyone else, that I was gonna live my life my way,  and that they had all been wrong. That art of any kind, good or bad,  was a driving force for me.  That I needed to create, and it gave me great satisfaction. Is my work awesome, NO! Not yet. Am I still exploring the world to find what I enjoy doing, yep! Probly always will be. Do I wish I were great at something? YES! But I'm HAPPY just doing what I do.

Back to his video again... {I do get sidetracked, don't I???} What I liked about his message was this, a 21 Day Challenge... Try these things for 21 days and you will see that you are retraining your brain to be happy.

3 Gratitudes ~each day, retain pattern of seeing the positives first
Journaling ~one positive experience you've had within 24 hours, relive it
Exercise ~teaches your brain, your behavior matters
Meditation ~get over the cultural ADHD we've created, allowing us to focus on one task
Random Acts of Kindness ~write one positive email, or praising or thanking one person in social support network
That is the very rough version of what he had to say, and I think I will give it a try... who's in with me??? I think Meditation and Random Acts of Kindness will be the hardest part for me!! I'm not big on meditation, I usually just fall asleep, and I try not to multitask anyway, cuz I suck at it!!   And well I'm not really very good at being kind!!!

But I can do gratitude and journaling and I'm working on exercise anyway. So I guess on top of all those crazy Resolutions for 2012, I just took on a 21 day challenge... BUT if being happier can give me a Happiness Advantage and help me create or do better work than I'm in!!!

***Todays goals are to hit that To-Do list hard, do some research for ideas on my One Little Word prompt for Feb. and get to the gym.