The Ramlings of Denise: Choices, Support, and Finishing

I am a mosey-er. I am just naturally slow moving, alway have been. I can't tell you how many times my mother said these words to me "You will be late to your own funeral!!" I don't know if it's just the way some people are or if it's a combination of several things. Like the fact that I'm also short {barely measuring in at 5'1 3/4"} I am fat {finally down to 185lbs} and I am extremely clumsy {I fall a lot-have broken almost every toe, and my arm just from falling, mostly on stairs, or flat ground}. Regardless, I am a slow mover, it's a fact, and one that makes todays feat even more monumental.
I am also tempted to sit here and make a nice little list of all the things I've been through in my lifetime that contribute to the condition I currently find myself in {fat, and miserably out of shape} but I'm not sure you'd want to listen to me ramble on, whining, about that and I'm also not sure if they are just plain facts, excuses or maybe a combination of both. Things are what they are, we make the choices we make, and we reap the consequences of our choices. There is always a choice, and we may not always know a better way to react to our situation, but they are, in fact, our choices. And my reactions to the events in my life, weather I knew better at the time or not, were still in fact my choice and my reactions. What's my point??? While some of the things in my life were not of my creating and not my choice, the reaction to eat my way through sadness, grief, anger, stress, happiness, THAT was my choice. If I knew then, what I know now, would I have done things differently? Maybe, maybe not. I believe that every decision, good or bad, makes you the person you are today, and to be honest, I'm pretty happy with the person I am today. I am not happy about the body, I as a person, happen to be walking {or waddling} around in but that's the consequence of the choices I made.
I've chosen to do something about that.
Maybe it started out as a deal I made with my daughter. Maybe I've been inspired by my families physical efforts and achievements, along with the physical obstacles they've overcome. But somewhere along the journey, I've realized that part of what drives me is not just the deals, and the inspiration, but my own health. See, I lost my mother when I was only 29years old and to be honest, I know the pain of not having a mom around. It never really occurred to me that my kids could lose their mom, becuz she failed to take care of herself. Would my kids be okay without me, heck yes! They are strong people, but should they have to, before it's my time, and becuz I chose not to take care of myself?? NO!
I have no excuses, or shortage of reasons to be inspired to finish this thing!
Now, if you've been following this blog, you are already aware of the lonnnng and tedious journey I've been on for the last 10 months. You've listened to me bitch, complain, whine, brag, and ramble on endlessly about a lot of crazy shit in between. {And I truly appreciate each and everyone of you for putting up with me!!!} You also know that the Big 5K is coming up here in about 6weeks. The day I RUN and entire 5K, or drop dead trying.

Today was my second attempt at a {practice} 5K. The first one, I walked the entire thing and finished in 48-something. Today, I ran parts of it. I ran, then walked, then ran, then walked. It was slow and ugly, but I MADE it!!! And in my personal best of 46.05. I know I have a long way to go, and a short time to get there, but I will keep on going!!!

The most important part of todays 5K is not my PB time, but the people who are a part of my support system. At 10pm last night, I got a text from my daughter, who's on vacation, telling me good luck. This morning, I received several Facebook posts giving me encouragement. But the most impressive display of support was my husband and son. My husband just had knee surgery June 14th, today he signed up and ran with me. He stayed with me the whole time. He wouldn't let me give up and walk, he kept encouraging me, saying things like "just to the next corner, then you can walk!" When we got close to the 2.5 mile mark, he informed me "I will not let you finish this in a slower time than your last one, lets GO!" Now, my son Tallon, ran the entire race and then turned around and ran back to find us, and finished the race with me too!! Who could ask for more support than that???? They made me finish it running, not walking.
So thank you to everyone who encourages me to keep on keeping on, and thank you to my family for ALWAYS supporting this crazy thing I'm doing!!!

Oh and by the way, when the race description says, "some small hills" What I realized today was, that they really meant "Today you will climb Mt. Everest, and it will be 80 degrees when you do it!!"

I'm not thrilled with my time or performance, but today I did okay. I am slow, short, fat and out of shape. I made the choices in my life that led me to where I am today. I choose to do something about it. I have no shortage of inspiration and support. Thank you everyone who has been there for me. I will finish this thing.

The Countdown sits at 6 weeks!!!